Navigating modern dating often means learning someone else’s expectations in real time.

She thought treating him to a birthday surprise would be sweet — until the check arrived and everything soured.

You’ll want to read on for this one.

AITA for not communicating on who will be paying for a birthday brunch?

I have been talking to this guy for 2 months now.

She had grand ambitions for his upcoming birthday.

I wanted to treat him for his birthday. I planned a whole day thing for him and I planned to drive.

He knew this day was for him and his birthday.

We got to the restaurant. It was all fun and flirty.

But when the check came, trouble srated.

But when it came to the check, he took the check before I could even grab it.

He looked at me and said, “See how the waitress put the check in front of me?”

I tried to get the check from him but couldn’t.

Kept telling him I was going to pay because it’s for his birthday.

She insisted on paying, but it was clear this wasn’t what he wanted.

When I couldn’t get it from him, I just went up to the waitress, gave her my card, and told her not to let him pay because it’s his birthday.

After payment, I looked at him and I could tell he was upset.

It turns out, this desire to always pay runs deep.

I asked if he really didn’t want me to pay.

He said, “Yeah! I wasn’t raised like that and it’s embarrassing,” got up from the table, and walked off towards the exit.

He didn’t leave me at the restaurant but just left me sitting there for a bit.

I was just sitting there alone at the table for a bit, gathering my thoughts on what the heck just happened.

The problem lingered long after brunch had finished.

We walked back to the car together and I apologized in the car.

He didn’t respond to me and it stayed quiet for the whole drive—about 20 minutes—till we got to where we needed to go next.

She had no idea this all meant so much to him.

Before our next destination, he stopped by the bank, withdrew money, and gave it to me.

Maybe I should’ve told him ahead of time that I would be paying for everything that day.

Or maybe asked him how he felt about the woman paying.

It left me feeling super bad and wanting to cry.

AITA for not communicating well enough on who will be paying for the day?

What started as a sweet surprise ended with silence and second-guessing.

What did Reddit have to say?

There are a couple of big red flags here.

The red flags continue.

If he reacts this poorly over something positive, how will he react to something actually negative?

Is anyone really worth all this negativity?

She meant it as a kind gesture, but he took it as a slight.

In the end, it wasn’t about the money — it was about his ego.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.