There’s not much worse than your partner being hospitalized.

The concern about their condition, the turmoil in your day to day life, the unpredictability – it can throw even the strongest of people out of whack.

But for the couple in this story, specific circumstances made their situation even worse.

Coupled with an overstepping friend, the situation became chaotic and truly upsetting.

Read on to discover what happened, and how it potentially ruined a decades-long friendship.

AITA for protecting my spouse’s privacy and my peace?

I am a 47-year-old woman and secretly married to my husband, who is 50.

We have been together for two and a half years.

Our wedding date is in 2026 but we got married in fall 2024 and didn’t tell anyone.

Recently my husband had a serious medical issue and was hospitalized.

He had to be sedated and intubated and was placed in the intensive care unit.

Once he was stable I made calls and sent texts to his family and close friends to make them aware of his condition.

My sister whom I’m very close to was there to provide me support.

Let’s see how this already difficult situation got even worse.

One of his best friends, whom he has known since high school (I’ll call her Pam) lives 5 hours away.

I texted Pam to let her know what happened. She called me immediately after receiving the text and said she was on her way.

I told her that was not necessary as there was nothing she could do.

At this point it was 8:30 pm.

I had been up since 1:30 in the morning and just needed to sleep.

At around 11:30 pm I was able to make up the little bed in his room to lay down and rest.

Of course it was broken rest as the nurses were in and out to take his vitals.

But then Pam came and threw a spanner in the works.

Pam woke me up at 3:30 in the morning when she arrived.

She scared me something awful when she woke me up.

I was shocked that she was there after I had said please don’t come.

I knew my fiancé/ husband would not want to be seen in the state that he was in.

However, given their relationship and how far she had driven I did not make a fuss.

To try to determine the cause of his condition the doctors were running multiple test. They had to do an MRI.

When they took him out of his room to complete the MRI, I left the hospital to go home and take a shower. Pam remained at the hospital.

And the next revelation shocked her even more.

When I got back to the hospital an hour later he was back in his room and the nurses were giving him a bath.

Rather than stepping out of the room, Pam was sitting in the room.

I was shocked by this.

Out of respect for his privacy, I expected she would have stepped out.

After being at the hospital for about 10 hours Pam left and said she would be back in two days.

I told her that wasn’t necessary, that I would keep her up to date on his condition.

But it was what Pam did next that shocked the woman the most.

Pictures are not allowed in the ICU. But via a social media platform I found out the next day that Pam had taken a pic of my husband and posted it. I was livid!

While he couldn’t be identified in the photo, the fact that she didn’t ask and again violated his privacy I was done.

I placed my husband on the confidential patient list, which meant you had to have a password in order to get by security to see him.

I continued to provide Pam with updates on his condition and asked her not to return to the hospital.

Read on to find out what Pam did next to completely cross the line.

On his fifth day in the hospital, Pam walked into his room unannounced at 7 pm while my sister was sitting with me. Somehow Pam had gotten by security.

I told her she didn’t need to come and confronted her about the picture.

She said she didn’t mean to offend and apologized.

At 10 p.m. my sister left to go home.

After 11 pm only one person should be allowed to stay overnight in the room.

Pam left to get some air, and this time when she tried to access the room she was stopped by security.

This made her very upset with me.

She told the charge nurse that I wasn’t married to my husband, and that I wasn’t the one to be making decisions for him.

She doesn’t know we are married, but his nurse did.

Let’s see how the situation is in the present.

My husband is doing much better now, but Pam has made him feel like he has to choose between us.

My husband has said there is no choice to be made, I’m his wife and I did nothing wrong by settling boundaries to protect his privacy and my peace.

AITA?

It’s clear that Pam is overstepping here – wife or not, this woman is the man’s significant other, and should be respected as such.

And as for telling the nurse that she shouldn’t be making decisions for him – that is totally out of order.

Let’s see what folks on Reddit had to say about this.

This person pointed out the many ways in which Pam was in the wrong.

While others saw Pam’s behavior for what it was.

And this Redditor pointed out that the hospital, as well as Pam, let this couple down.

Not only did Pam question the couple’s relationship, she also seemingly tried to undermine it.

Not leaving the room while he was being bathed, repeatedly turning up after being told not to, trying to sabotage the woman’s relationship with hospital staff – all these things are far from a friend’s remit.

And then there’s violating his privacy further by sharing a photo of him, unconscious, in a no-photo zone.

She can’t do that!

It’s no wonder the man’s wife was furious.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.