Lying to your family about why your mother with dementia wasn’t invited to your wedding is the kind of thing that tends to surface eventually, and in this case it surfaced on a birthday phone call.

One woman, who took on most of the caregiving responsibilities, was told by her sister she didn’t want their mother to attend her wedding. It would just be too hard to see her in that state.

This woman was immediately against this, arguing that their mother deserved to see her on her special day. But her sister was set in her decision, so she told her she wouldn’t be attending either.

She was planning to keep the news to herself, but when her aunt called her about another matter, she figured: “Why lie?”

The news then spread like wildfire and ended up with a horrified guest list and a very angry bride.

You’ll want to keep reading for this one.

AITA for telling my family the real reason my mother and I are not attending my sister’s wedding?

My sister is getting married this year, and she invited me but did not invite our mother because she has dementia and thought it would be too much for her.

I told her our mom was still okay to travel.

She knows from firsthand experience that her mom has a lot more stamina than her sister thinks.

I told her I still travel with her often, and that our mom always wanted to travel and see the world, so I do my best to take her to as many new places as I can while she’s still able.

I kept insisting that she was fine to travel and that it would mean the world to our mom.

But still, her sister just doesn’t want her mom to bring the vibe down.

Later, my sister told me it was just too hard to see mom the way she is now.

Our mom was the strongest and most dependable person either of us knew, and she is no longer that.

So she decides to stick up for her mother and protest the wedding.

I don’t agree with the reason, but I said fine and told her if mom cannot come, then I am not coming either.

She was upset because she wanted me to walk her down the aisle.

We left it at that, and this was about a month ago.

One day, she gets on the phone with her aunt and the wedding comes up.

Fast forward to last Saturday — it was my aunt’s birthday, and I called to wish her a happy birthday and sing to her with mom.

After we did that, my aunt said her sister looks great and that it’s a shame she’s not up to traveling anymore.

I asked her what she meant by that.

I told her we still travel and that we’re going to Europe at the beginning of July.

She said my sister had told her that our mom was not coming to the wedding because traveling is hard for her now.

She decides her aunt needs to know the real truth.

I told my aunt that wasn’t true, and I told her the truth — that my sister didn’t want our mom to come because she didn’t want to see her the way she is now.

I also told her I was invited but said I would not go without our mom.

My aunt was clearly shocked and upset.

Her aunt wasn’t one to keep secrets.

It turns out she got busy and told a bunch of people, and it spread like wildfire.

I don’t know exactly how many people are now not going, but I know it’s many.

My aunt also made a Facebook post, and as you know, for older folks that spreads quickly.

Her sister is now fuming.

My sister is livid with me.

I was just being honest, but she feels I should have kept my mouth shut.

She claims I have ruined her wedding twice now — once because I refused to walk her down the aisle, and now this.

AITA?

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Kinda sounds like her sister got exactly what was coming to her.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a young woman who struggles with her new reality after learning her adoption story was a lie.

Did Redditors agree?

Karma definitely did its job here.

This user points out that just because her mother is okay now doesn’t necessarily mean she’ll be okay on the day.

People were always going to notice there was a very notable absence from her wedding.

If her sister didn’t want her mother at her wedding that badly, the least she could have done was own up to it.

Ultimately the bride had a choice between honesty and a cover story and she chose the cover story, which obviously backfired spectacularly.

Many redditors pointed out that the core conflict here went well beyond just a guest list. These two sisters clearly have very different ideas about their mother’s capacity, and what seems to be lacking is any kind of healthy communication.

The two may never agree on what the right call was for the wedding, but if they want their familial relationship to survive, they’re going to have to start behaving as more of a team.

Caregiving for a parent with dementia isn’t easy, and it takes a village.

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