Getting engaged is a huge event and one that the whole family should be excited for.

What would you do if you think your boyfriend might ask you to marry him soon, but your older sister is upset that you might get engaged before her wedding, which isn’t for at least a year and a half?

That is the situation the younger sister in this story is in, and she isn’t sure if getting engaged would be the wrong thing to do.

Check it out.

AITA for possibly getting engaged while my sister is planning her own wedding?

I (24F) have been dating my boyfriend (23M) for eight months, but we’ve been involved for about two years, including long distance ‘courtship.’

We have a desire to get our lives started young, so we’ve been talking about marriage, home ownership, children, etc. — to make sure we align and so we can get started when we’re ready to.

This seems very mature.

I’ve been vague to my family about how steady we are, because my mom gets excitable easily and as of right now, there’s nothing to celebrate.

We’re just being intentional. My sister (27F), on the other hand, got engaged in December to her lovely boyfriend of seven years.

This morning, I found out that my mother spilled more than she really knew about my boyfriend and I — which shocked me, considering how cautious I’ve been for fear of this happening.

While discussing wedding planning, my mother brought up my relationship to my sister and was talking about me and my boyfriend’s future in front of my sister and her fiancé — plus family.

My sister texted me about this, and I agreed it was in poor taste and that I’m so sorry it had even happened.

I think the older sister is being a little over sensitive.

Here’s where it got messy: she then asks if my boyfriend and I were getting engaged before she gets married (tentative date: 1.5 yrs from now).

I shrugged: it was likely, but not certain.

She was hurt, telling me that it’s becoming about “‘the [our last name] girls getting married,’ not her and her fiancé.

I agreed that it was messed up, but it doesn’t change that I only need to consider us when it comes to our plans for our lives.

She said that I’m “planning to get engaged in the months before her wedding” to steal her spotlight, that it’s always been this way, claiming that we got the idea to be engaged because they were (not true at all), asking me if I wanted to get celibacy over with, if I’m going to wear white to her wedding.

She even said she doesn’t want to talk to me ever again.

This family has some real issues.

I was baffled how I woke up one day and now my potential engagement is suddenly an issue overnight.

That said, I can understand my sister’s feelings, and while I don’t want to, I offered to only announce our engagement after her wedding.

She didn’t like the idea.

My mother told me that it’s etiquette for a younger sibling to wait a month after their eldest sibling’s wedding to announce engagement.

My sister said that she asked all of her friends about this, and they all agreed that it is messed up — hence why I’m posting here.

Don’t wait. Especially not a year and a half.

My point of frustration is that I don’t want to delay our plans so that they can only happen after my sister’s wedding.

Another thing: based on her past (which I won’t air out here; she’s not here to defend herself), I’m not so sure she’ll stick to a wedding date.

If I put everything on hold out of courtesy, I could be waiting years.

Please do not trash my sister — or my mother.

I love them.

I want to keep my family together while honoring what I want of my future.

So be honest with me: AITA?

It would be one thing if her wedding was a few months away, but a year and a half is a crazy amount of time to demand that you not get engaged.

Let’s see what the people in the comments have to say.

Yup, the older sister needs to get over herself.

This is how I feel as well.

This commenter thinks the older sister is to immature to get married.

Right, she can’t pause her life for 18+ months.

Yeah, the mom seems to be an instigator.

Her sister is acting like a spoiled princess.

Just get engaged and let the chips fall where they may.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.