Boundaries are extremely important in any relationship. But so is forgiveness.

In this woman’s case, she had forgiven her niece for breaking an iPad among other things multiple times before deciding she wasn’t welcome anymore.

Now her sister-in-law is extremely upset, and she’s wondering if she is in the wrong for establishing this boundary.

Let’s analyze the situation.

AITA for Telling My Niece She’s Not Welcome Anymore?

My husband and I are financially comfortable.

We both work(ed) in the dental field.

I sold my practice about a year ago, and he plans to sell his in a few years.

I have two older brothers and two younger sisters.

This is about my 47-year-old brother.

He lost his job during COVID and hasn’t been able to hold one down since.

His wife got a job through a family friend, but they still struggle financially, especially with four kids.

This means she gets involved. But it hasn’t been easy.

I try to help when I can. I’ve paid for school supplies, groceries, toys, games, activities, and I take the kids out once or twice a month to give them a break.

Their oldest, my 12-year-old niece, has been acting out.

It started last Christmas. I hosted a cousin sleepover for winter break. In six days, she:

– Got mad during a game and smashed the iPad I bought for the kids

– Broke a vase while roughhousing

– Refused to go skiing and trashed the cabin while we were gone

– Was mean to the other kids.

She tried reasoning with her parents, to no avail.

Afterward, I talked to her and her parents and we moved on.

This week we celebrated my birthday (May 5th) a little late because I was on a trip with a small party.

Catered food, played a few games, nothing big. During the party, my niece asked if she could take the new iPad home.

I said no, given what happened last time. Turns out she took it anyway.

The next day (around 3 days ago) my brother called to tell me she broke it.

It’s almost as if she hates iPads. She had to establish boundaries.

I know it’s just an iPad and she didn’t hurt anyone, but that was the last straw. I told my brother she’s no longer welcome at my house, but the other kids still are.

That’s when my sister-in-law called me and blew up on me, called me a selfish *****, and said none of her kids would be coming over anymore because she won’t let one be excluded and doesn’t want my “attitude” rubbing off on them.

She completely disregarded what happened.

I hung up on her and she sent a string of nasty texts.

I texted my brother to at least calm her down, but he hasn’t responded, and I know he read it because of his read receipts.

AITA?

Maybe once things cool off, they can try discussing things again.

But calling her names was uncalled for.

Let’s see what Reddit has to say about this.

A reader shares their thoughts.

These are good questions.

This commenter shares their opinion.

A warning.

Another reader chimes in.

This person has a different perspective.

Having rules is important.

The mom totally ignored what her daughter had been doing and the help they’ve been receiving so far.

This is a bad example for her daughter.

If you liked this post, you might want to read this story about a teacher who taught the school’s administration a lesson after they made a sick kid take a final exam.