At this point, we all know it’s not OK to call people names or discriminate against an disabilities in the workplace.

But in this story, one terrible boss apparently did not get the memo.

Let’s see what’s causing these carwash blues…

My boss stuck me with the worst job, so I changed the rerouting phone number to mine and changed the security camera passwords

My first job was customer-service based, and it was a nightmare.

I worked at a car-rental yard that had a car wash next to it.

They were owned by the same person, but on paper they were two separate businesses.

They worked in tandem, though.

The rental cars were cleaned at the car wash but the car wash was open to the public as well.

Logical business model. But how do the employees split their time?

Some absolutely messed up stuff happened there, the worst of which was probably the time someone had something dead in his car and he used the car wash to wash away the blood.

OK, horrifying.

But a lot of other stuff happened there as well, so I had to become quite familiar with the security system since I had police come for footage often.

On the weekends, the car rental yard would close at 2pm but the car wash had to do be manned until 5pm.

That’s because some car wash services required hands-on work from a “professional.”

Hm, “professional,” huh?

We were all employees of the car rental yard, but I was the only one treated as a “car wash” employee, so I was the only one who had stay behind to man the car wash.

The reason I was stuck with that job is because management didn’t like me.

That doesn’t seem cool.

Not because of something I had said or done, but because of my personality.

They thought I was an “autistic robot,” which are words they actually said to me.

Yeah, definitely not cool.

To put into perspective how much they didn’t like me, I worked there for five years and not once did I get invited to a Christmas party.

At first I figured it was because there was no party to get invited to, but nope, it turns out they had parties every year but they excluded me on purpose and made sure everyone knew to keep it a secret from me.

They should definitely go to HR… if this place had HR. What will they do instead?

One year though a new hire accidentally let it slip, and when I asked management if it was true, they said yes and that I wasn’t invited because I made people uncomfortable.

They actually used the phrase “autistic robot” to describe my personality.

Not acceptable workplace behavior.

So that explained why I was segregated to the “car wash” section by myself instead of the “rental” section.

Before I started, they rotated who was a “car wash” employee so it was more equal, but when I started I was quickly stuck there by myself.

At first I didn’t understand why, but it all made sense in the light of that comment.

So I started to resent being there a lot. I decided that if they didn’t have respect for me then I didn’t have to respect them.

Yeah, why would you? Wonder how they express disrespect…

Since they would ditch me at 2pm on the weekends leaving me to work alone until 5pm, I decided I would stop doing work in that time.

I would have just packed up and left after they did, but I had to set the alarm and they knew when the alarm was set, so I had to be around until 5pm.

My plan was to just sit in the office and watch Netflix or something until 5pm, but customers kept showing up and interrupting me.

Netflix and chillllll! Will the bosses catch on?

I figured out that if I wanted to do nothing interrupted, I had to make the place look closed.

So I started packing up after they left, then I’d just sit in the dark office watching Netflix and eating Indian food from the restaurant down the street.

It became a ritual. I’d get a nice curry and naan and chill for a few hours on company time.

This worked for a couple of weeks until a customer decided to ring. Up until that point, customers who showed up looking for a deluxe hand wash would either leave or settle for an auto wash.

But this guy who rang really wanted a deluxe wash. He googled our opening hours, realised we should be open, so he called.

The thing is though, the car wash didn’t have a phone. All calls went to the car rental offices next door. And when those ring out, the call gets redirected to the boss’s phone…

Uh-oh, spaghettio. Is he about to be fired?

So I was sitting in the dark car wash office eating my curry when I got a call from my boss. He told me about the phone call and that he saw me on the security cameras sitting in the dark. He was not happy.

I managed to escape most of the ire due to the time it was. It was about 4:30 so I managed to convince him I only closed 30 min early instead of 3 hours early.

He still wasn’t happy, but it could have been a lot worse.

Yeah, I’ll say.

I wasn’t deterred, though. I thought I had worked out all the kinks in my brilliant plan, but two remained. Customers who called would reach the boss, and the boss had remote access to the cameras.

Nope, in fact, I think they’re inspired.

Luckily though, I knew the admin password to the cameras thanks to having to retrieve footage for the cops, and the password was the same for the phone account.

So I changed the rerouting number to mine and I reset the password to the cameras to default.

I thought about changing it to something else entirely, but I figured I’d have plausible deniability if it was discovered the password changed.

If it was reset to default, it could have been a glitch or an accident.

Besides that though, I had a feeling that they only looked at the cameras if they felt they needed to, so I figured as long as they didn’t get a reason to check, then they’d never realise they were logged out of the cameras due to an incorrect password.

Brilliant.

And with all rerouting calls going to me instead, they would never have a reason to check the cameras.

So every weekend when they left, I’d change the number to mine, get my curry and shut up shop. Afterwards, I’d change the number back so they wouldn’t find out.

Covered all the bases. How long can it last?

I did that for six months without getting caught. Only about 3 or 4 people called during that time, and I just told them the google hours were wrong.

In my opinion, they deserved worse.

Any business willing to discriminate against employees for something like being an “autistic robot” deserves to be sued into bankruptcy one hundred times over.

Screw those people.

Great work.

Six months is a good stretch of sitting in the dark and ordering curry.

What do the comments think of this petty revenge?

This person says, oh the way you used to be able to manipulate phones!

This poster has a pop culture recommendation.

Someone else is sus about the owner’s attention.

Another person says, every workplace needs one of these people.

Someone else says, kudos.

I, Robot… seek petty revenge.

Win!

If you liked this post, check out this story about an employee who got revenge on a co-worker who kept grading their work suspiciously low.