Estranged parents often expect forgiveness to come without the needed accountability.

After years of instability, one young man chose the parent who showed up for him, only to be guilted by the one who never has.

Now, he’s caught in the middle and second guessing his decision.

Read on for the full story.

AITA for refusing to move back in with my mother?

I have been living with my dad (65M) for the past 5 or so years, who—by the way—I didn’t even get to meet until I was 11, because my mom (55F) had me convinced he was a horrible person who abandoned her and didn’t want anything to do with me.

Turns out, that obviously wasn’t true, and he came looking for me when he found out I existed.

His mother really did a number on him growing up.

My childhood was extremely chaotic, always bouncing from place to place. We were couch surfing a lot because we barely had any money due to my mom’s inability to hold down any job.

She was in and out of treatment facilities for about 4 years until she finally stayed sober for a whole year and is in a much better place now.

Due to this, she insists that I “don’t need my dad anymore” and that I should move back in with her.

But this is the last thing he wants to do.

Even though things were obviously very awkward at first, I’ve developed an extremely healthy and positive relationship with my dad.

He’s done his best to step up and be the best father figure he can to me despite the situation and is always supportive of me.

He wishes he could say the same for his mom, but he can’t.

My mom, on the other hand, it feels like she’s only supportive of me when it benefits her, so I’ve made it clear that I would be happy to visit her, but I had no interest in moving back in with her.

When I told her this, she got very upset and went on about what a terrible and selfish son I am.

His mother hurled back more hurtful words at him.

She told me that my dad was only brainwashing me and that she was the one who raised me for 15 years while he “sat back and did nothing.”

I know I’m obviously old enough to make my own decisions, and of course, I do plan to get my own place at some point. But the economy is tough right now, so I’m very dependent on my dad supporting me at the moment.

Yes, I do have a job, by the way, and I pay for my own gas, phone bill, etc.

AITA?

She may see his decision as betrayal, but he sees it as self preservation.

What did Reddit have to say?

This guy sounds like he’s got a good head on his shoulders.

Forgiving isn’t always forgetting.

His mom may be better than she used to be, but she’s still displaying toxic behavior.

As always, his mother is only looking out for herself.

He shouldn’t apologize for preserving the peace he’s worked so hard to build.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.