Your relationship with your ex is important if you’re co-parenting.

If your girlfriend were pregnant, would you tell your ex first, or would you tell your child, letting him know he’s going to be a big brother?

This man is worried about his ex’s reaction when he tells her his news, so he doesn’t know if he should tell her first or his son first.

Read the story below for all the details.

WIBTA if I told my son he is going to be an big step-brother before his mother?

I have a son with my ex-fiancée.

We’ve been separated for several years. We currently share split custody.

Things have never been particularly friendly between us, but we do manage to co-parent for the sake of our son.

This man and his partner are expecting.

Here’s the situation.

My current girlfriend is 3 months pregnant, and I’ve been trying to figure out the best way to tell my son he’s going to be a big brother.

I’m concerned about how my ex will react when she finds out I’m having a baby.

And more specifically, I don’t know how she’ll react because she will find out after our son knows.

She’s been hostile to him before.

Historically, my ex has been pretty hostile or judgmental.

This is about many aspects of my life that don’t directly involve our child.

It includes my job, where I live, who I date, etc.

He tries his best to be there for their son.

I live about 10 minutes from my son, but my job is around 2 hours away, and it sometimes requires me to be gone for days at a time.

Despite this, I make a consistent and strong effort to see my son. That’s whenever I’m in town. And I always prioritize him.

His ex feels their son is not his priority.

My ex has made comments in the past.

She was suggesting that I’m “pushing our son aside” because of my current relationship.

That couldn’t be further from the truth.

He doesn’t know if he should share the news with his son first.

I don’t want to tell her about the pregnancy first because I’m worried she might try to preemptively frame it in a negative light to our son, or she could use it as a weapon in some other way.

I also recognize that she has a right to know first, as the other parent. Some people might say that.

WIBTA if I told my son he’s going to be a big brother before telling my ex? Or would it be more respectful parenting to tell her first?

That is even if I worry about her reaction.

It’s too bad that good news about expecting a baby is so stressful for this dad. Let’s see what others have to say about this on Reddit.

This person offers some helpful advice.

Here’s an honest opinion from this person.

Your son comes first, says this person.

Here’s a similar thought from this user.

Finally, this person makes a good point.

Telling an old flame about your new family is never easy.

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