All marriages go through some ups and downs, but when a couple works to make things good, it can be the best part of life.

What would you do if your husband neglected you in every way, and when you asked for even a little bit of effort, he refused?

That is the situation the wife in this story is in, so she is finally ready to divorce him but isn’t sure if it is the right move.

Read on for the whole story.

AITA for Wanting My Husband to Do Literally Anything to Save Our Marriage Before I Quietly Exit Stage Left?

I (46F) have been married to my husband (50M) for over a decade. We don’t have kids together, but I have four amazing children from a previous marriage.

For years, I supported this man through his alcoholism—covered for him, kept the household afloat, showed up for his life like a second job.

He’s been sober for a while now (yay), but emotionally? Still MIA.

Does he even want to be married?

I’ve asked him, gently and repeatedly, to try couples therapy.

He won’t.

He did however offer to read a book I was reading (I Want This to Work) after I finished it—he promised he’d read it.

That was six months ago. He never cracked it open.

When I asked about it recently, he said he’s never read a whole book in his life, like that’s a valid excuse for not engaging in the one thing he offered and agreed to do.

He seems easily annoyed.

This past weekend we went camping, just the two of us. I brought up a few calm, honest questions about our relationship.

His responses ranged from annoyed silence to “I don’t like noises” (I had the audacity to eat food and breathe, apparently).

When I said I feel like I’m constantly annoying him, he shrugged and said, “I just don’t like noises.” Cool cool.

He is neglecting her in every possible way.

Eventually, I opened up about how, over the years, I’ve begged for intimacy, attention, emotional presence—and stopped asking because I got tired of being rejected over and over again.

I shared how I’ve supported all his interests and showed up for every beer league softball game and tournament despite rain, freezing temps, or 100 degree weather, even when he didn’t show up for any of my wins.

I told him I feel like a side character in his life, an extra there solely to make his role more prominent.

His response?

“Well I guess I’m just not good enough then, I don’t know what you want me to do?”

And then he went to bed.

Didn’t say he loved me. Didn’t say anything at all.

Marriage is worth fighting for, but both people have to be willing to fight.

So here I am. Planning my exit. Quietly. Calmly.

Heart shattered but eyes wide open. I don’t want to do this anymore.

AITA for feeling like I deserve someone who would at least try to meet me halfway?

Someone who’d fight for the relationship instead of retreating every time things get emotionally real?

I’m not trying to leave in anger—I’m trying to leave with dignity.

I just want to be sure I’m not crazy for asking for connection.

AITA?

It sounds like he is neglectful and has some serious mental health issues that he is unwilling to address.

Let’s see what the people in the comments on Reddit have to say about it.

Yup, this is the answer, short and accurate.

I can totally see this happening.

Sadly, this commenter is right.

She would be miserable.

Yup, he has shown who he is for sure.

He is too comfortable to leave, but he is totally checked out.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.