Do parents’ significant others get an automatic in to the family?

If you really disliked your parent’s partner, would you still invite them to all of your celebrations and include them in your life?

Read how one Redditor puts her foot down when it comes to the invite list for her birthday party.

Keep reading to see how it all went down.

AITA for telling my dad I don’t want his girlfriend at my upcoming birthday?

I’m 18yrs old, female, and I’ve been struggling with my dad’s girlfriend.

My parents divorced when I was eight.

My dad has had two relationships in that time, and his third and current one started about two years ago.

I tried to get along with her at first, but the arguments began subtly and, over time they happened more frequently.

Surprisingly, the latest girlfriend has gotten nit-picky about…eggs?

One of the earliest issues was about how I eat my breakfast eggs. I like runny yolks and mash them up on my plate with mayo, pepper, and salt before eating them with toast.

My dad and sister (20F) have occasionally commented on it, but I’ve always done it that way.

His girlfriend, however, called it “disgusting” and said the sound and look of it bothered her.

My sister suggested I do it in the kitchen, but honestly, I don’t see why I should change habits just because someone else is annoyed.

But, the girlfriend has gotten comfortable saying her opinion on more things since.

Over time, she began commenting on more things. How long I spend in the bathroom, how I speak, that I’m rude, or that I wear too much makeup.

Once, I tried to apply makeup in the car and, [I know] my dad doesn’t allow it because he doesn’t want the car getting dirty.

But his girlfriend felt the need to explain why I shouldn’t behave that way, as if I need her moral approval.

She acts like she has some kind of authority over me, like a parent, which I strongly reject. I don’t like her.

Now, here’s the wild part. The daughter notices something’s a little off.

To be honest, I’m not even sure my dad truly likes her. He just seems to go along with things.

He lost his mother at a young age and struggles to say no to her, which shows me that it’s more because of his mommy issues.

Because of that, I don’t take their relationship seriously.

So, when it came to the birthday party invite list — the daughter made her call.

The main problem is, my dad really wants us to all get along. He gets upset when I avoid her and says it’s important that the people he loves are all part of each other’s lives.

He assumes she’s automatically invited to everything he’s invited to, including my upcoming birthday.

I told my dad two days ago that, this time, I don’t want her there. I don’t feel comfortable around her, and I don’t want to pretend I do.

I also told him how it’s visible that everyone around us feels the tension and that I don’t want that at my own birthday.

And this wasn’t short-sighted. The daughter feels this way about bigger events, too.

I’ve even told him I can’t picture her at future events like my wedding, so that he understands how I really don’t want her around me when I don’t have to.

That’s when he said, if she’s not invited, he won’t come either.

But, what the dad said next, you won’t believe…

It really hurt.

I’m his daughter. The fact that he’d choose her over me and say he wouldn’t attend my wedding if she’s not included crushed me. I almost cried but was too angry to show it.

My sister agrees it’s unfair to expect me to get along with someone who constantly criticizes me, just to protect my dad’s feelings. I don’t usually change my behavior to make others more comfortable, especially when what I’m doing is harmless.

And now, the daughter is reflecting on her behavior and wondering if it was too harsh.

I struggle with very emotional people and often get called insensitive, especially by my sister, who is hypersensitive. So, conflict over different values isn’t new for me, but this still hurt.

So, AITA for not wanting my dad’s girlfriend at my birthday?

Could this daughter have been more amiable? Is this father in the wrong for choosing his girlfriend over his daughter’s party? Let’s read the comments below to get an idea of what Reddit is saying.

People said “NTA,” but there were varying reasons attached.

They said this could easily spiral into larger events for the daughter.

Redditors also highlighted there are consequences to everything.

And that sometimes, taking stock of the potential consequence is a good way to measure out the situation.

This daughter is learning the hard lesson that compromise is a part of life.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.