It’s an unfortunate fact of life: people are sometimes forced to choose sides when their friends break up.

And that’s when things get ugly!

Read the story below and see if you think this woman is doing anything wrong when it comes to what’s going on with her best friend and her ex.

WIBTA if I hung out with my best friend’s ex?

“My fiancé (32M) and I (31F) had a college roommate we’ll call A (30M). We all lived together for three years and got close—he felt like a brother to me.

During that time, A started dating my best friend (31F), though she never lived with us. Their relationship ended badly.

She was in a tough spot.

He was pretty awful to her—mostly due to his trust issues with women—and I had to bite my tongue a lot for the sake of being roommates.

I confronted him a few times, but we still had to live together for a while after they broke up. It was hard and messy. Still, I had a soft spot for A. Despite everything, we shared a lot of good times as roommates.

After graduation, we all moved on. A went back home, my fiancé and I moved into our own place, and my best friend relocated for work. We still saw A occasionally—mainly because he and my fiancé remained close friends.

My best friend was really hurt I stayed friendly with A, and we had a big fight about it. But eventually, she understood—at least on the surface.

A later moved to another city, and I lost touch with him. My fiancé stayed in occasional contact, and we even visited once. Everything felt like water under the bridge.

There was a new development.

Then, about a year ago, I found out A and my best friend reconnected. She was unhappy in a relationship and reached out while traveling. They started talking again—platonically at first—but caught feelings.

A love-bombed her hard: talked about moving in, building a life, being serious. She was so happy, and I was happy for her too.

But it didn’t last. He fell into old patterns—jealousy, controlling behavior, being a bad partner. He wouldn’t meet her on work trips (both work remotely), didn’t like that she had a big social life, and generally made her feel guilty for living hers.

Yikes…

On top of that, he regularly talked to his ex “friend with benefits” about their relationship issues, even accidentally texting my best friend something meant for that girl about how expensive her birthday dinner was. Total slap in the face.

Eventually, after 6–7 months, he told her he couldn’t commit and wanted to “live in his car, be a snowboarding instructor, and peak in his 30s” (yes, really). She was devastated. She was ready to uproot her life for him—again—because she genuinely thought it would work this time. He led her on, only to pull the rug out again.

Now he’s in town and wants to get dinner with my fiancé and me. I don’t want to go. My fiancé says I should because “there are two sides to every story,” and that my best friend will never know.

She doesn’t know what to do.

He’s really pressuring me, but I feel like it totally violates girl code. I’m furious with A and don’t know how I’d even be civil. I think he’s a selfish jerk, and I don’t get why my fiancé won’t just go alone.

WIBTA if I gave in and went to dinner with A?

Or would I be right to stay home and hold my ground?”

Here’s what folks had to say on Reddit.

This person didn’t hold back.

Another reader shared their thoughts.

This individual had a lot to say.

This Reddit user spoke up.

And this person chimed in.

She has a big decision to make, no doubt about it!

If you liked that story, read this one about grandparents who set up a college fund for their grandkid because his parents won’t, but then his parents want to use the money to cover sibling’s medical expenses.