Balancing personal boundaries with pleasing your partner’s family can be hard.

What would you do if your future in-laws were nice enough to invite you to a large rental for a vacation, but not nice enough to understand you want to spend time with your family as well? Would you risk upsetting them?

Well, this woman turned to the internet for clarity, since she’s not sure how to handle the situation.

Let’s read the whole story.

AITA for not staying the full week on a family vacation planned by my fiancé’s parents

I (30F) am engaged to my fiancé John (30M).

His family spends a lot of time together, holidays, weekends, and frequent get-togethers with all the siblings and grandkids.

And they want to spend even more time together.

John’s dad retired this past May, and we already had a retirement party for him.

Now his parents have planned a family vacation in November to celebrate his retirement again.

They rented a large house out of state and invited everyone, siblings, spouses, grandkids, etc, for a full week: Saturday to Saturday.

But she has her own family.

John and I were clear from the beginning that we probably wouldn’t stay the entire time.

I’ve always expressed that Thanksgiving is an important holiday for me to spend with my own family, and John told his parents early on that he wasn’t sure we’d stay the full week because it was a long trip.

We decided we’d attend the trip from Saturday through Wednesday, then head home so we could spend Thanksgiving with my family.

They do not understand it.

Since then, there’s been some subtle pushback.

His parents have said things like, “It’s just one Thanksgiving,” or asked if John could stay even if I left.

They’ve also said this is the first time the whole family is doing a trip like this in years and it might not happen again.

But they want to spend time with her family as well.

I understand they’re excited about the trip, and we’re not trying to skip it, we’re planning to be there for five full days.

But I don’t think it’s fair to expect every adult to give up a full week of their own time and holiday plans, especially when we made our intentions clear up front.

AITA?

This situation feels culty. Being offended because two adults aren’t going to do exactly what they want is odd.

Let’s see how Reddit feels about this.

Simple like that.

A reader shares their thoughts.

This commenter shares their opinion.

Sound advice.

Another reader chimes in.

Exactly.

They need to set a precedent before they get married.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.