Sometimes, tough love is the only way to help someone grow.

Imagine having a friend who has complained for years but never does anything to fix the things they’re complaining about? Would you keep listening to their complaints, or would you tell them to get help?

This woman has a friend who’s been struggling emotionally and mentally for 15 years now.

She has been supportive and understanding, but the complaining never stops.

She finally couldn’t take it anymore.

Did she do the right thing? Read the full story below for all the details.

AITA I told my friend that I can’t stand her whining anymore

I and one of my best friends are both in our late 30s. We’ve known each other for about 15 years now.

Ever since then, she’s struggled to keep a partner because she was too self-conscious and couldn’t open up.

I told her that I think she needs professional help because she was downright paralyzed when she met someone she liked.

She agreed, but never got help.

This woman’s friend has various problems.

So the problem got worse and worse.

She started to get more lethargic and stopped going out more and more.

She didn’t go to the doctor although she had different health issues.

She also stopped going to the gym, and the latest problem is that she hates her job, so for the last 4 years, she’s been telling me she wants to leave.

She noticed how her friend keeps complaining about them but doesn’t do anything.

She’s looking for a job now.

She can’t stay there anymore.

The company really sucks, and I absolutely agree. I wouldn’t work there either.

In those 4 years, she’s written one (1) application.

She constantly talks about wanting to do something different to what she does now as a job, but she doesn’t know what exactly. And she also doesn’t do anything about it.

Here are the problems she kept talking about…

So to sum it up:

• She still has no partner because she is too shy and can’t open up, even if she really really likes someone.
• She was on Tinder for like 4 years and didn’t swipe right once, because she was too scared. She liked a lot of the men there, but she just never did anything.
• Still no new job or even an idea of what she wants to do exactly.
• No treatment for her health issues (we have universal healthcare, so money is not the issue).
• No sports or gym for the last 4 to 5 years.
• Her apartment is always messy.

She thinks her friend is depressed.

She complains about all these things almost daily.

She’s not happy like that, but she just doesn’t do anything about it.

I told her I think she is depressed. Maybe she has an anxiety disorder.

She agrees, she says she knows she has an issue.

And then… you guessed it… doesn’t do crap about it all.

She got mad at her and told her she needs to get help.

Now, at that job, it gets worse and worse, so she complains more and more.

In the last two days, I came to the end of my patience.

I told her that I absolutely can’t watch her destroy her own life anymore. I got really angry and I was brutally honest that she needs to get help now!

She felt bad, but she couldn’t take it anymore.

She’s almost 40.

She’s just whining and complaining for like 10 years now and just never does anything. That her behavior is pathological and that I absolutely cannot carry that emotional burden anymore.

Now,  I feel bad about it, but it is so incredibly exhausting.

So, AITA? Should I have been more patient?

It can be hard to listen to a friend complain and never actually get the help they need.

Let’s find out how others reacted to this story on Reddit.

This person shares a valid point.

It’s exhausting, says this person.

This user gives their honest opinion.

Here’s a personal assumption from another user.

Finally, this comment makes perfect sense.

Insanity is doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.