They say it’s rude to disclose how much money you make.

I think it’s a little more nuanced than that.

It’s rude to BRAG about how much money you make. But having conversations about it is a great way to help keep the playing field level.

When others know the worth of their work, they’re more likely to demand that level of recompense.

Still, sometimes you have to go about it carefully.

Let’s see how these friends went about it…

AITA For telling a friend that when someone is as qualified as I am, they can charge the same as I do?

So, me 46M am a lawyer.

In my country, you go straight into the degree you want once you get out of high school and pass a test.

During college, I met this friend, also 46M. We were in the same classes and got along greatly for years.

We know each other for about 28 years now. He was one of my groomsmen at my wedding.

They went on slightly different paths.

After I graduated, I did a 2 year postgraduate degree while I worked.

My friend always said that experience was better than a diploma.

I never minded it since he never pressed it.

When I met my wife, 43F, she was just starting at the firm I worked at. We hit it off pretty well and started dating soon after.

3 years after I finished my postgraduate program, I started my masters.

My wife and I started to plan on opening our own law firm around this time, seeing as she was also pushing for her postgraduate.

And by middle age, they were doing well for themselves.

Some years later, we finally managed to open our firm.

The friend in question was there at the opening party for the firm and seemed happy for me at the time.

Some years went by and, when I was around 38, I finally got my doctorate.

Now, 8 years later, I’m a very good family/contract lawyer (even if I say so myself).

Then came the awkward conversation.

Last weekend, mine and my wife’s friends were around at our house, having a little barbecue.

Some time close to the end of our get together, this friend asked me how much was my hourly rate, because he wanted to start going the independent route.

I told him the value (kinda high, but again, I know I’m worth it), and he said I charged too much for my services.

I said something among the lines of: “When you’re as qualified as I am, you can charge the same or even higher.”

Did he say the wrong thing? Or the right thing in the wrong way?

He was kinda silent/uncomfortable and the party kinda died after that.

My wife talked to me yesterday saying that some people thought the tone of my comment was kinda rude, even if I didn’t mean it, and that I should talk to him.

I didn’t want to get seen as passive-aggressive with my response, I just answered his question.

Am I wrong? Should I apologize?

Who was in the wrong here?

Here’s how the comments on Reddit judged this situation:

This person thinks they were both rude.

You may be right AND you may be wrong.

Some were less sympathetic.

Ultimately, it shouldn’t be a huge deal.

Don’t ask a question if you don’t want to hear the answer.

If you liked that story, check out this post about a group of employees who got together and why working from home was a good financial decision.