Not every invitation has to come with extra baggage.

So, what would you do if hanging out with your friends always meant babysitting your roommate, translating for them, and carrying the whole conversation? Would you keep inviting them? Or would you finally leave them out for a night of your own?

In the following story, one woman deals with this exact scenario and is wrestling with guilt over it. Here’s what’s going on.

AITA for not telling my roommate about a hangout because I don’t want her to come?

I (late 20s) live with Emma (mid-20s), who doesn’t go out much or have many friends. She has a traditional mindset and says things like, “Women who party too much aren’t wife material,” but she still tries to come off as trendy and social.

I’ve brought her twice to hang out with Noah, a close friend of mine, and our circle of international friends. The group speaks three languages, and Emma doesn’t speak any fluently, so I’ve always translated for her, which I honestly don’t mind.

What’s exhausting is that she doesn’t just want help; she wants me to stop enjoying myself and be her wing woman and social buffer all night.

Emma is socially awkward around other people.

She barely interacts with them directly unless I’m guiding everything. Yet she follows them online, talks about them like they’re her close friends, and acts like she’s part of the group, even though every interaction has gone through me.

At home, she constantly asks about them and analyzes their posts like she’s fantasizing about a bond that isn’t really there.

She’s pretty, and yeah, people want to dance or talk to her. But she struggles to hold a conversation (even in her own language) unless I’m hovering nearby. She turns hangouts into this subtle “audition,” trying to seem like the perfect girlfriend/wife material.

It feels like a weird competition from her, one I’m not even in bc these are my friends. I’m not trying to impress anyone.

Now, she feels bad for not telling Emma the truth.

Noah recently invited me to a small hangout, and I want to bring Nina (a friend who also met him through me). Nina speaks their language and is chill, social, and easy to be around. I can relax when she’s there bc she doesn’t make it weird or emotionally draining.

Emma is supposed to be out of town that weekend. I stupidly hinted Noah might be around, and now she’s all excited, acting like she’ll run into him. I’m worried she’ll cancel her trip and try to join if she finds out.

I haven’t told her, and I do feel guilty, but I just want one stress-free night with people I care about without playing translator, babysitter, or emotional handler… especially when I already struggle socially, lol.

AITA?

Yikes! It doesn’t sound like she’s able to have much fun when Emma is around.

Let’s see how the people over at Reddit feel about what’s going on.

This reader thinks she’s the problem, not the roommate.

Here’s a good point.

According to this reader, she should talk to her roommate.

For this person, there’s no helping the roommate.

It’s nothing to feel guilty about.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.