Sometimes, working hard just to survive means missing out on things that matter.

What would you do if your family expected you to travel eight hours and pay out of pocket to attend a reunion, when you’re barely making rent and just picked up a job that weekend to stay afloat? Would you try to stretch your last dollars and go anyway? Or would you prioritize your new gig and risk upsetting your family?

In the following story, one young lady finds herself in this exact situation and opts for the latter. Here’s how it all played out.

AITA for not coming to the summer family reunion because I have to work to make ends meet

A while back, I had to move out of the area that I was raised in because I just got priced out, even working three jobs and living with roommates.

So I just took the loss and moved to the next state over, away from the metro area, to a place that I could afford with two other roommates.

By the way, I am 24f.

My family was supportive and helped me move. I don’t think they got that they’d see me less, bc they’d ask me to come over for the weekend.

She’s between jobs, and the timing is all wrong.

It’s an 8-hour bus ride, which is no big deal, but it does take up time where I can work. Plus, I have to pay for a motel whenever I visit because my parents redid their guest room to be an office, and they don’t let people sleep on the couch, and their rentals are full.

So I have visited twice.

My family’s summer celebration is in a month. Most of my family hates traveling in the winter, so we basically have Christmas/Thanksgiving in the summer for everyone.

Well, of course, great timing. I am laid off from one of my jobs and just have the other one. But I got a job helping with a wedding that weekend, which will put me in the green for a bit.

When she explained it to her parents, her mother turned it around on her.

I told my parents I couldn’t make it, and they were so mad. I tried to tell them that I needed this money to make ends meet. I said that if they wanted me to come, they’d need to pay.

Mom was mad and said that it was manipulative.

I told her that I needed to think of the consequences of my actions.

She said she’s sick of me choosing everything but family.

When I’m not working, I’m trying to learn coding, but it’s really hard and I’m struggling to understand it. Yes before anyone asks I have a learning disability I know that’s not an excuse it just means I have to work harder.

Even her sister took the other side.

But my older sister called me to catch up.

I told her what happened with Mom.

She was very understanding, but also said that she thinks Mom is right. She knows it’s hard for me to make ends meet, but I have a lot of other options, like Uber Eats. It kind of seems like I am using the wedding gig as an excuse to be lazy, as in I get paid a lot more for less time than if I worked at Uber Eats.

She says that I should be willing to put in the extra work if I really care.

This has made me feel really bad and like I need a reality check.

AITA?

Wow! She must feel like everyone is against her.

Let’s see what advice the folks over at Reddit have to offer her.

This person has a good point.

According to this reader, money problems don’t make you a bad person.

Here’s someone who thinks her mother should cover all the costs.

For this reader, she’s responsible, not selfish.

Her family should rethink this.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.