Financial expectations around family events can strain relationships, especially when communication leaves a lot to be desired.

Would you help a distant cousin pay for their wedding when you weren’t even invited?

One man living abroad was suddenly asked to send a sizable gift toward his cousin’s wedding. But without prior notice or a direct invitation, he wonders whether he’s actually obligated to comply.

Read on for the full story.

WIBTA for refusing to contribute £150 towards my cousin’s wedding?

I (23M) was recently told that my cousin (23F) was getting married.

I live in Europe, whereas she lives in North Africa (I am North African by descent).

His mother soon came to him demanding he chip in.

My mother, who brought the news to me, later told me (without making it an option) to send £150 to my aunt (my cousin’s mother) in order to contribute towards the wedding costs.

The wedding will take place a week from now.

My cousin is officially married already; only the celebration needs to be funded.

But he is extremely hesitant about this, for multiple reasons.

I am deeply unmotivated to contribute £150, even though that amount of money isn’t colossal, for the following reasons.

First, I was not aware that she planned to get married or even had someone in mind (I did not know the man) until I was (indirectly) told three days ago.

Second, my mother painted the contribution as “charity,” which makes little sense to me, as charity needs to be voluntary (and not coercive) and contribute toward a necessary cause (fighting hunger, housing homeless individuals)—a celebration does not seem that “necessary” to warrant that label to me.

Third, I was not asked directly.

WIBTA if I chose not to send the money?

He’s right: a wedding is not charity.

What did Reddit think?

This user offers a viable solution.

Guilt trips aside, it’s 100% his choice if he wants to send the money or not.

Even sending a smaller amount could be a good compromise.

Is he even close with this cousin?

He’s right to feel uneasy about this request.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.