Family duty gets complicated when past hurt still lingers.

What would you do if your relatives created a strict visitation schedule for a grandparent who always made you feel unwanted?

Would you push the old wound aside and visit anyway? Or would you stand firm and refuse to pretend things were ever warm and loving?

In the following story, one woman finds herself in this situation and decides she doesn’t want to play along.

Here’s the scoop.

AITAH for refusing to take my turns to visit my grandmother in the elderly home?

My grandmother recently moved into a care home for elderly people who can no longer live independently.

My family made a detailed schedule, like a full-on rota, so everyone takes turns visiting her.

I mean, seriously? A schedule? For visiting Grandma?

It feels like we’re running a business or managing hospital shifts. Everyone is assigned a day and a time, and they’re sticking to it like clockwork.

It seems as if her grandmother had favorites.

Here’s the thing, though—I never really visited my grandmother much before she went into the home.

She’s always been pretty cold, and it was clear she preferred her in-laws over us since she remarried.

I always felt like I was more of a bother than a welcome guest.

Meanwhile, the kid of her new husband’s child—who isn’t even related to us—was treated like some golden star, perfect in every way.

It got worse as the years went on.

Thing is, she got colder and colder with time.

She already was when I was a kid, saying I was treated like a princess by my parents (yes and no, but this is not relevant to the story, which is how she always said it loudly to make sure my father – her son – heard it).

She never really bothered to create bonds with us either.

Why would she? She raised 10 kids; why look over her children’s kids?

Everything changed when she hurt her father’s feelings.

Needless to say, I never had a good relationship with her, but I did visit as she had done no harm.

Until she did on my father’s 50th birthday.

My dog at the time had just passed away, and cherry on top, she forgot to wish my father a happy birthday.

She had said she’d come, changed her mind, and did not bother to ever call him to say ‘Happy Birthday, son.’

My dad cried in front of me, and that broke something.

She had done harm.

Though she’s not forgiven, they do visit.

We have not forgiven her, but my father still calls her and talks to her, as she remains his only living parent.

He does it more by need than desire.

Everything was okay until the aunts and uncles decided they could ask their kids to visit grandma in their place in their schedules, as they had other things to do.

My cousins complied. I did not, and kept being lectured about it.

I do visit her with my father when he asks me. But I will not take the empty schedule hour assigned to me because my relationship with her is poor.

Some family members spat venom at me for that.

AITA?

Eek! It’s easy to see why she feels this way.

Let’s see what advice the readers over at Reddit have to offer her.

These are harsh words, but something to think about.

This reader would handle it by saying this:

Excellent question.

Here’s someone who takes her side.

She may regret this one day.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.