Being a new parent can be difficult, but having overly involved grandparents can make it much more stressful.

When a 22-year-old mom-to-be tried to set a few basic boundaries for her postpartum recovery, her baby’s future grandma accused her of being controlling.

From delivery room demands to custody threats, things spiraled fast—and now she’s wondering if she overstepped.

Read on for the story.

AITA for not letting my baby’s grandma get her way?

I (22F) got pregnant after a one-night stand with a friend.

I’ve been trying to involve the dad in everything. He rarely responds to my messages and when I do get replies it’s usually his mom.

She has 5 sons but always wanted a daughter. Since I’m having a girl she sees it as her second chance. Lately it’s felt like she’s trying to take over.

Early on I said I didn’t want our parents controlling decisions but his mom relays messages through my mom instead of coming to me directly. If I text him about the baby he ignores it or I get a message from his mom.

Oh boy.

The first conflict came because I can only have two people in the delivery room, I chose my mom and cousin, people who will comfort me.

I plan to have him come in right after birth for bonding time.

But before I could explain that, his mom said she wanted to be there, and later messaged me saying she was “heartbroken” I wouldn’t let him be there and that it was unfair.

Come on now.

Later, I tried to talk to him about the first weeks after birth. I plan to breastfeed and need to recover, so I asked if he could come to mine for visits during the first couple weeks.

I said he’s welcome to come every day, even stay over. After that I’d be happy to start taking turns going to his or going out together.

He didn’t respond but I got a message from his mom. She said it was “totally unreasonable” to expect him to come to me and that he wants the baby overnight once a week at her house. She suggested I sleep there because “he doesn’t like sleeping out.”

Excuse me?

 I ended up making a group chat with both our moms and him to explain that I’m only asking for the first two weeks and I’m open to compromise after that.

But she doubled down saying I’m making all the decisions without involving him.

The only decision I made without him was choosing godparents. Everything else, names, prams, baby clothes. I’ve included him in. He picked his own godparents too.

The only thing I said no to was naming the baby after himself if it were a boy because I don’t like the idea of juniors.

It gets more complicated.

She argued that him visiting at my house isn’t “real” bonding time, even though I said my family would step out during visits and that he could have time alone with the baby while I nap or shower.

Then she posted on Facebook about how she’s “finally getting her little girl,” and now she’s saying he should go to a solicitor so she can have a custody schedule in writing for her peace of mind.

I don’t want to drag my baby into legal stuff or create tension this early. I had a complicated relationship with my own dad and don’t want that for her.

It’s become pretty stressful.

I want her dad and his family involved but not if it’s going to come at the cost of my mental health or ability to recover and bond with my baby in peace.

His mom says she doesn’t want her son upset but doesn’t seem to care about me or my baby’s wellbeing. I’ve started overthinking everything and wondering if I’m being too controlling or unreasonable.

So AITA for trying to set boundaries?

Boundaries aren’t selfish—they’re survival. Especially when the baby isn’t even born and grandma’s already making power plays via Facebook.

Most people on Reddit advise OP to stay FAR away from Baby Daddy and his mom.

This person shares some advice.

Like, seriously. Do not.

Absolutely NTA here.

When you give a grandma an inch, she’ll demand overnight custody and a pink nursery.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.