Some people just don’t deserve to know important things about family members if they haven’t put in the time and the effort.

That’s how this person feels about his family and he doesn’t want to let certain people know where they plan to bury their father’s ashes.

Are they being unreasonable?

Let’s see what’s going on here…

WIBTA if I didn’t tell my step family what we was planning on doing with my dad’s ashes?

“My dad passed away around 5 years ago this June.

At first everyone was there for each other but when me and my siblings started wanting to get involved with helping with the funeral/wake plans, processing and understanding the will and sorting out his belongings and what my step mum wanted to do with them.

A couple weeks after the funeral we were turned on.

Things got ugly.

We were accused of never spending any time with him, we were accused of being money grabbing, showing our true colors etc etc.

This mainly come from the stepmom and not the stepkids but their excuse was she is grieving and they backed her up.

All we wanted to do was help with our dad’s funeral and everything else that comes with it but instead it was flipped on its head and no matter what we said it was turned against us.

Really I just wanted my dad back. I didn’t want or need what was happening.

It got even more heated.

Eventually we sat down with the stepmom only as none of the kids wanted to be involved. She lost it on us and I didn’t keep my cool either.

We left that meeting with her confessing she never liked us and never wanted to see us again.

This sent me spiraling into a further into a depression. More than I already was with losing my dad but now I lost a big chunk of family.

None of them contacted me after this point and if I did bump into them they would just say “I’m so sorry how it turned out” and would act all sheepish.

Now the stepmom kept the ashes the whole way through this and after some convincing allowed us a small portion of him for our own.

A couple months I got a text from my step sister saying my stepmom wanted to give me the ashes as she thinks we should decide what to do with them.

I thought that’s amazing we can get them back but looking deeper into the text she never said “and let us know what you do with them as we would like to be there”. This sort of stung.

I know a year or two after he passed she already moved on and to make matters worse she took that man on a holiday that my dad planned with my dad’s friends.

Once we get them from my step sister I opened them to realize they are still in the same box we got from the crematorium which was falling apart and upon looking at his ashes they were rock solid.

It just kept getting worse.

My heart sunk. She hadn’t cared for him. I contacted my step sister to explain this and didn’t get much back other then a half hearted sorry and some suggestions I had already considered as they were not scatterable.

Me, my siblings and a few other close people to my dad have decided to do an ashes bury in a green cemetery near where we all live.

Everyone has said “don’t tell them what we are doing. They didn’t care for you or your siblings. If they reach out tell them.”

But for me and my conscience, I am not sure I can do it. I am so conflicted as they were horrible to me and my family and on the other hand it just doesn’t feel right to hold that back from them.

WIBTA if I didn’t tell them what we was planning on doing with his ashes?”

Reddit users shared their thoughts.

This person said they’re NTA.

Another reader agreed.

This Reddit user chimed in.

Another person has some questions.

And this individual spoke up.

They’re having a hard time figuring out a final resting place for their father.

One that’s private is in order, for sure.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.