Blended families can be tricky to navigate, even for the parents.

Imagine arguing with your partner about how you choose to discipline your children. Would you see this as a huge red flag in your relationship, or would you find a way to work it out?

In today’s story, one Redditor is questioning his partner’s recent reactions to his children, and he’s not sure what to do about it.

See the story below for more details.

AITA for not letting my partner lecture my son after I’ve already punished him? Or am I ignoring red flags?

I’m a 38-year-old father of three kids (F10, M7, F5), and I’ve been with my significant other (F34) for a little over three years.

She also has three children (M16, M14, M4).

The schedules can be busy, but the family always tries to make time to connect.

As you can imagine, our life is incredibly busy between sports, band, and school events, there’s rarely time to breathe.

That said, when we do have downtime, we try to make the most of it with family game nights, arts and crafts, and other fun activities.

Overall, the kids get along well, and we do our best to support each other.

However, there’s been a recent development…

Lately, though, there’s been a growing issue.

My 7-year-old son has started bossing around her 4-year-old son. They’re about the same size, and my son can get physical by pushing, shoving, and occasionally hitting.

I don’t condone this at all.

I believe in teaching kids to defend themselves, but never to be the aggressor.

When this happens, I handle it. I give him time-outs, take away electronics or toys, and most importantly, explain to him why his behavior is wrong. I make sure the punishment fits the situation.

But, this is where things get a little awkward.

But after I’ve disciplined him, my partner will often step in and scold him again, lecturing him, as if what I did wasn’t enough.

If I say, “He’s already been punished,” she gets upset, and it escalates into a fight.

During these fights, she’ll say really hurtful things like how awful and disrespectful my kids are. She says this loud enough for the kids to hear, which just tears them down even more.

Instead of engaging in that, I now just ask her to let me handle discipline for my kids. I’ve suggested that we talk to him together if needed, that way we’re a team, and he hears one consistent message.

But, I don’t think it’s helpful or necessary to pile on after the punishment has already been given.

And the partner doesn’t seem to like hanging out with her kids.

This isn’t an isolated issue.

Just last week, when it was just me, her, and my three kids, she told me how much they were annoying her.

It feels like her mood completely changes when my kids are around. When they’re not home, she’s kind, loving, and thoughtful. But when they return, the energy shifts.

To add context: their mom is barely involved in their lives. She doesn’t show up for games or take much time with them. So when I first got into this relationship, and my partner helped care for my girls, doing their hair, helping with clothes, being a female role model, I was so thankful. I didn’t think they’d ever have that kind of bond with a woman.

And for a long time, it was amazing.

But over the last few months, things have changed.

She can’t help but notice the root of the situation seems to have started with his son.

This all seems to have started when my son began having issues with her youngest.

Now, it feels like every disagreement about punishment leads to a blow-up, and my kids are the ones who end up hurt.

So here’s my question:

AITA for asking her not to lecture my son after I’ve already punished him? OR am I ignoring red flags and should seriously consider ending this relationship?

Should this father be taking his partner’s behavior as a major red flag? Or is this something they can work on together?

Let’s read what Reddit is saying in the comments below.

Redditors were split. But many felt this was a major red flag.

Others questioned how this parent had been disciplining his son.

And finally, many recommended counseling.

This blended family needs professional help with their complex situation.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.