They say absence makes the heart grow fonder.

The less complimentary corollary of that statement is “being around y’all too much makes me hate you.”

As unflattering as that is, it’s often true, especially if you’re crammed in a van together, like in this story.

WIBTAH If I told my wife that I didn’t want to take extended family vacations anymore?

So I (44m) took a vacation with my wife (43f), son (5m), MIL (65f), SIL (38F) and her two boys (10m and 12m).

We all shared one vehicle and Airbnbs.

We had a lot of activities and had fun, but the times in between were stressful.

I love my wife’s family, but there are things they do which grates on me.

A brief list of grievances follows.

My nephews are good, well behaved children but, like my own son and many other boys they are either completely running full pedal to the metal or sleeping.

My SIL and MIL have the habit of constantly interjecting while driving which is a trigger of mine.

When stressed I put on music to calm me but when I turned it on they all complained they didn’t like it.

They have the habit of asking me a question of what I think then question and pick apart my answer.

When I try to preemptively explain an answer it takes too long and they interrupt and come to their own conclusion.

It’s too much for his brain.

I have ADHD. When trying to explain what ADHD means about my thought processes or memory my wife dismisses me with “Well, you’re taking medication! Shouldn’t that fix it?”

I need times with quiet and little disruption or stimulation.

This is usually playing a game or reading a book on my kindle app.

Trying to do this, I get my extended family nagging for me to get off my phone.

The pressure just keeps building…

While I did have fun and enjoyable times during many of the planned activities I had no time to decompress or destress.

It usually ended up being stressful with no time at all alone.

When taking vacations with just my wife and son I actually get decompression time.

And to be frank, he doesn’t think he’s got another one of these in him.

I really do not want to take another vacation driving great distances with extended family again.

7 people in one vehicle that is overstuffed with luggage and constant noise; especially when I get berated for doing things to prevent myself from being bothered by it.

WIBTHA if I told her I would like to not take vacations like this anymore, or maybe go to renting two vehicles and having separate accommodations from family?

I understand sharing Airbnbs and a vehicle cut costs, but it came at the cost of my sanity and mental health.

Here’s what the comments had to say:

“Treating” isn’t “curing,” there’s an important difference.

Plus, it sounds like this family may have been in violation of international law.

A compromise is owed at the VERY least.

There are many people I love in this world.

I would not want to be stuck in a cramped van all day with most of them.

I wouldn’t want to be stuck in a cramped van all day at all, really.

It’s just a recipe for stress.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.