When you are dating someone from another country, communication can sometimes be difficult, even if you both speak the same language.

What would you do if your girlfriend asked you to learn her native language even though you both speak English fluently?

That is what is happening to the boyfriend in this story, so he said he would learn it someday, but he is too busy right now, which she finds offensive.

AITA for not wanting to learn my girlfriend’s native language?

My girlfriend moved to the US when she was 7, and so is perfectly fluent in English without any accent, but says she is only able to communicate to about 90% of the ability she would in her native language.

It would certainly be a nice thing to do.

Thus, she wants me to learn her native language.

I said I would be more open to it in the future, but right now, I just don’t have the time to or see the benefit of it.

This is also very reasonable.

As in, currently I’m working full time in tech and in grad school, and spend the little free time I have doing things that release stress and is relaxing like spending time with her or going to the gym.

So, I don’t really see the utility of learning a new language right now when we communicate perfectly fine in English.

Even if he started learning just a few words, it would be nice.

She suggested her teaching me how to speak it as dates, but I told her, both work and grad school are very intellectually rigorous, so I really don’t want to have to memorize things and study grammar on my time off.

She thinks I’m being unreasonable, but I think it’s fair to say there’s no pressing need to learn her language right now and it’s better to hold off things until I actually have more free time.

AITA?

I wonder how long they have been together. And what language it is.

Regardless, he has no obligation to learn her language, and certainly not on her timeline.

Let’s see what the people in the comments have to say about it.

This commenter makes a great point.

He won’t be able to be fluent for many years.

This commenter says he is right.

He could put in some effort.

This person says he is being clear, and she needs to decide if that is ok.

Learning a language as an adult is very difficult.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.