Starting your life completely over as an immigrant is one of the most difficult things a person can do, and it is a situation that comes with many trials and tribulations.

What would you do if your immigrant parent never took the time to impart their native language on you? And you never really knew why?

One young woman recently asked Reddit for insight on this exact scenario.

Here’s what went down.

AITA for telling my mum I wouldn’t forgive her for not teaching me her language

I was born in the UK in 2003 to an English father and a Hungarian mother who emigrated to the UK in 1996.

I hold both English and Hungarian passports.

We only spoke English at home even though I spent most of my time with my mum.

She had tried speaking Hungarian with my brother briefly but stopped completely when he was a toddler.

This would be frustrating.

We visited Hungary twice a year, but I could only say basic words and phrases.

I had to rely on my mum to translate for me with my aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents.

It was frustrating and embarrassing, especially in a multicultural UK where many kids I knew were bilingual because their parents had taught them their native language.

This is an understandable feeling towards a complicated situation.

I always felt jealous seeing other children switch easily between English and their parent’s tongue.

I have painful memories tied to this.

When I was 14 in my mum’s hometown, a group of lads harassed me because I was clearly foreign.

If I’d spoken Hungarian, it probably wouldn’t have happened.

This is sad.

The worst part is my grandparents died before I turned 15.

I never had a real conversation with either of them even though my grandmother begged my mum to teach us Hungarian.

Once, when I was seven or eight, my siblings and I asked our mum to teach us Hungarian.

The only phrase she gave us was “I don’t speak Hungarian.”

It can be hard to learn another language later in life.

She made no serious effort, and I still feel angry about it.

At 17 I started learning Hungarian myself through apps, TV shows, a private tutor and by talking to relatives.

After years of hard work I’ve reached about 80% fluency, but complex conversations and grammar are still difficult.

It’s unlikely I’ll ever be fully fluent.

Losing relationships over a language barrier is certainly tough.

I can’t forgive my mum for making me do this as an adult when it could have been natural as a child.

When I confronted her, she said it was hard to teach us, but she didn’t even try.

She chose full integration over passing on her language, leaving me unable to speak to my own grandparents.

Meanwhile she still speaks with a strong Eastern European accent but insists she’s English.

But she wasn’t a bad mother.

She was otherwise a loving mother, but this is something I can’t let go.

I felt like an outsider in Hungary and still do.

To make it worse, they gave me a Hungarian name that doesn’t work in the UK, one I later changed.

When I asked why, she said it “worked in both languages.”

If she cared that much about Hungary, why didn’t she teach me Hungarian?

It seems impossible to let this go.

This is a wound that still makes me angry and embarrassed.

I’ve built my own path to reclaim some of the language, but I’ll never get back the childhood connection or conversations with my grandparents.

Seems like there is a ton of resentment built up over years happening here. Let’s see how Reddit responded.

Nearly everyone had full empathy for the mother.

Others encouraged the original poster to do the same.

A few shared anecdotes of their own.

Some had absolutely no sympathy for the daughter.

Though as always, some chimed in with nuance.

Hopefully this mother/daughter relationship doesn’t remain lost in translation.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.