I gotta be honest, the whole “secret family recipe” thing has never made sense to me.

Like, I get why Dr. Pepper is cagey about its alleged 23 flavors, or why KFC protects its “11 herbs and spices;” those are businesses who have a profit motive not to have their product replicated by competitors.

But when you’re just making, like, a casserole at home, why on earth would you care if someone, somewhere else, was making the same casserole?

Still, people get very sentimental about it, like in this story here.

AITA for gatekeeping my late aunt’s kugel recipe?

This may sound silly, but I’m in a little family squabble over kugel (a Jewish noodle casserole).

It starts with an unfortunate passing.

Just last week my aunt passed away.

I was home alone with our elderly dog while my husband and kids were away visiting my in-laws.

That’s when I found out. So, I was unable to attend the funeral.

This coincided with the recovery of a family heirloom.

Less than a month ago, I had found my old recipe book that had gone missing 8 years prior during a move.

I had searched endlessly for it because it had held my aunt’s coveted Kugel recipe.

Over the years, I tried getting the recipe again from her and other family members, but none of them tasted the same.

When I found my book and read the recipe, I realized that the reason none of them were the same was because I had written it in her kitchen as we made it together.

I wrote down everything she said, including her funny ‘measurements’ like “1 cup, or 2..maybe ¼ box” It wasn’t just a recipe, it was a memory.

A touching moment they wanted to share.

So, when she passed, I shared the story on Facebook.

My cousin, her son, asked for the recipe.

Of course, I sent it to him.

But, then he asked me to post it on my Facebook.

He even went as far as saying that if I didn’t do it, he would.

I told him it felt odd and asked why. He said it would be nice so that anyone could make it.

So they didn’t want to share ALL of the moment, it seems.

I usually don’t like gatekeeping, but this feels different.

This recipe took me years to recover.

Even her own kids didn’t have it.

It just feels like something that should stay in the family.

So, AITA for not wanting to post it online for everyone?

People responded in the comments:

Many were gentle about it…

But this is important:

It’s perplexing to many.

The actual paper recipe is unquestionably yours to keep. Frame it. Treasure it. Pass it down as an heirloom.

But if she brought something good into this world, something that can be replicated forever with no harm to the original, why should that stay hidden with you?

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.