Health issues happen — but how much would you put up with before you questioned your partner’s honesty about their state?

One Redditor struggles with leaving his wife with health issues because he feels he’s being gaslit.

Read the story below to find out what went down.

AITA for leaving my disabled wife?

I’m male aged 48. My wife is 56. We have two teenage daughters. I’m basically at my breaking point.

Soon after my daughters (now aged 16 and 14) were born, my wife had some health issues. Psoriasis, hyperthyroidism and fibromyalgia.

The husband was initially supportive and even hired help.

I supported her when she took time off of work to get treatment. I paid when we hired a full-time nanny.

I’ve worked countless hours since then to make our situation work financially. After a few years off work, my wife decided she didn’t want to go back to work.

She lied (saying she can’t drive, for example, which she does all the time) and fought with her employer and was eventually declared disabled.

But now, he’s skeptical.

Since then, she has done essentially nothing. She sleeps until noon every day.

The nanny takes the kids to school, makes their lunches, and prepares their dinner before leaving for the day.

The nanny also does all of the cleaning. I cook and clean on the weekends.

I’m increasingly feeling exploited. When I talk to my wife, she is dismissive saying that she just needs a little more time to recover.

The amount of time she’s been in recovery will shock you.

It’s been 12 years.

I said we don’t need a nanny for teenage kids. My wife said she just needs the nanny a little longer.

I recently learned that she offered the nanny lifetime employment without first talking to me.

But this woman has big plans for that nanny.

Her plan is that once the kids leave the house, the nanny transitions to being a full-time housekeeper.

My wife’s defense when I confronted her with this is that the nanny is “like family,” and it would be wrong to let her go. This feels manipulative — like she’s packaging laziness as kindness.

My wife also says that she needs the nanny because my mother is unwell, and my wife needs to help my mother. My mother is unwell, but my wife provides minimal support.

And where is the OP’s mother you may ask?

My mother lives in a care home. My wife sees my mother maybe once a month and takes her to maybe two medical appointments a year.

My wife says that it’s common for women to give up their careers to raise their children and expect their husbands to support them, but she fails to say that’s not what she did.

When I express how I feel, I think I’m being gaslighted.

But the wife doesn’t see why the husband is bothered.

My wife says that everything is perfect, and I’m just having a midlife crisis. She says that she’s willing to fight for our relationship, but when I asked for changes, she said that everything is perfect and nothing can change. And that I would ruin our daughters’ lives if I end our relationship.

So what does fighting for the relationship mean if nothing can change?

I feel guilty for leaving someone who has some health issues. But don’t I deserve a supportive partner to recognizes that I also have needs?

AITA?

Is the husband in the wrong for feeling like he wants to split? Let’s see what Reddit thinks with the comments below.

People shared the husband’s concerns.

And some Redditors knew how they felt immediately.

Others questioned if she has depression.

And finally, one reader felt the opposite.

Health issues or not, something is up with how this couple communicates.

If you liked that post, check this one about a guy who got revenge on his condo by making his own Christmas light rules.