It’s so weird when everything seems perfect with friends and then suddenly it isn’t.

The experience is more than disappointing; it’s deeply upsetting.

See how this friend is coping.

AITA for expecting my friends to exclude a couple who spread false rumours about me being a home wrecker?

I have been part of a lovely friend circle for a while.

One of the guys in our group (let’s call him Anton) got a new girlfriend (let’s call her Molly).

At first, everything seemed fine, but later, things got weird.

It’s hard for her to wrap her head around an accusation.

Apparently, Molly started believing I was trying to have an affair with Anton.

This was completely untrue (actually our friends tried to match us previously with no success).

Everyone knows Molly has insecurities from past relationships and has projected similar suspicions onto many other women.

Things escalated when the rumour spread accusing me of being a nasty person, home wrecker, etc.

The worst part was the conversation the couple decided to have with me when they felt that our friends start disliking this whole situation.

They sat me down and basically told me that I had been inappropriate and I should stop. I was in shock, froze, and couldn’t respond properly at the time.

What confused and hurt me most is that Anton had been telling other friends that he didn’t think I’d done anything wrong and that Molly was just having a hard time emotionally.

But when we spoke directly, he sided with her completely. Later he also changed the narrative for friends too, saying he needs to be supportive of his partner.

She has had enough of these games.

Since then, I haven’t felt safe around them, I freeze completely.

They still show up to group events and act like everything’s normal, but I don’t feel comfortable. I’ve kept my distance but haven’t made a big deal out of it.

Still, I feel stuck, like I’m being forced to share space with people who blamed and shamed me unfairly and never took responsibility for it.

I know in theory it might help to talk to them to express how I feel but I freeze and am not able to.

I am realizing this was actually a traumatic experience, and now I have decided priority is looking after my nervous system, avoiding them completely and doing a variety of things to heal it.

I recently have shared this with a few girlfriends in the circle but my pain wasn’t really accepted. They dismissed it saying I should just talk to them.

They didn’t like the idea that in order to protect my healing I will have to step down from anywhere they are attending.

So she has a lot to consider and it’s tough.

This puts people in an uncomfortable situation where they have to choose who to invite to their events.

I really do not understand how someone can be friends with people who did something so nasty. I wouldn’t stay in touch with someone who did something like this to my friend.

At the same time, I am so close to many people in the circle, we have been through so much, they are like family, and we have so many values and beliefs in common.

So… AITA? Is my trauma making this look like a big deal while in reality this is not an issue and I should just brush it off and be friends with everyone?

Here is what people are saying.

I’d put money on this.

If you want a soap opera, turn on the TV.

Exactly. All scenarios mean they are bad friends.

Yep. You can’t let this kind of thing control your activity.

I get this but it’s still really upsetting.

No one needs “friends” like these.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.