There’s a strange phenomenon of men marrying women to be a mother to them. Sometimes it’s subtle and not discussed.

If you were dating someone who hinted at wanting you to do things for them that their mother would do, would you consider this a red flag?

Keep reading to see how this woman made her position on this subject crystal clear.

Told my SO I’m not their mom

My boyfriend and I were talking about a friend (John) who has some pretty serious back problems (nerve damage, discs grinding on each other, etc).

If it weren’t for his wife practically forcing him to go to the doctor, he would just continue working his way into an even more serious and permanent injury.

This led to an awkward conversation.

I made a comment that John was lucky his wife was forcing him to take care of himself. We agreed that he’s at risk of paralysis if he keeps ignoring the issue.

My boyfriend then made a comment that I’ll likely be doing the same for him someday.

To which I responded… “No, you can take care of yourself and make your own appointments. I can drive if you need me to, but I’m not your mom.”

I’ll admit, my tone was strong. I explained that my mom takes care of everything for her husband and I’ve seen the toll it’s taken on her mental health.

But they are not on the same page.

I do not want that dynamic in my life (assuming he’s healthy enough to pick up a phone and schedule an appointment).

I also have my own health and appointments to take care of.

He made some comment about how he’s likely can be as stubborn as our friend sometimes.

She’s not backing down.

I reiterated that it’s his responsibility to take care of himself.

He was a bit reserved the rest of the night. Left my house first thing this morning and I haven’t heard from him since.

I don’t feel bad for setting that boundary, but I do worry that my reaction was too strong. AITA for how I responded?

She made her boundary clear. Was that wrong?

Here is what folks are saying on Reddit.

He sounds icky.

Boundaries make relationships better!

Glad you communicated so well.

He probably thinks feminism isn’t needed.

A therapist could really help.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.