This guy’s girlfriend constantly vents about hating her body and wanting to lose weight, and even asked him for help.

After promising not to comment in the moment, he spent a full day quietly tracking everything she ate so he could show her why her “healthy meals” weren’t causing any weight loss.

But when he calmly explained that her daily total was closer to what he eats to maintain weight as a taller, more active man…she accused him of shaming her and blew up.

AITA for telling my girlfriend the exact amount of calories she ate in a single day?

My girlfriend is on the bigger side, which is something I do not mind.

I am on the more fit side, I’m pretty lean, have well defined muscles and probably around 15% body fat. I used to be about 40 pounds heavier and lost the weight pretty simply.

My girlfriend always complains about her weight and her body. I tell her I find her hot for so many reasons outside her body and it didn’t matter to me whether she got bigger or smaller.

How sweet.

Eventually she decided she wanted to lose weight, I offered to help and when I pointed out things she could be doing better she gets mad at me. She isn’t losing weight currently and in fact says she is gaining a few extra pounds.

I ask her what exactly she eats in a day, she says she eats healthy so she should lose weight. I question that and we have an argument.

I tell her that if she wants to show me, let me just spend a day with her and see what she eats in a day. She said only if I don’t make comments on what she’s eating as she’s eating it. I agreed.

Alrighty…

Now by the end of the day she had consumed, a plate of avocado toast that was about 400 calories, a coffee that was 110 calories, an 800 calorie salad from chick fil a and a fry (as a “reward” for the salad) and veggie burrito that was about 500 calories. Along with snaking a bunch throughout the day. Her total consumption was about 2200 calories.

At the end of the day I explained this to her. My exact words were that the amount of calories she is consuming is the amount I need to maintain my weight as a man 5 inches and 20 pounds bigger, who is constantly active.

So chances are she’ll slowly gain weight eating like that and that eating healthy isn’t going to guarantee she’ll lose weight.

Just being honest…

She got super angry at me and told me I wasn’t helping her and was just shaming her.

I told her I want to help her but she did not listen.

AITA?

Reddit’s take? Intent doesn’t erase impact, and she didn’t actually ask him to analyze her diet. He pushed for it, gathered data she didn’t request, and delivered it in a way that felt more like an ambush than support.

This person says his approach makes him the AH.

This person says to lead by example instead of giving her the facts.

And this person says he sounds way too judgy to be helpful.

Nothing says “I love you” like secretly tallying your partner’s calories and turning it into a lecture, said no one ever.