It’s funny how forgiveness becomes everyone else’s priority when they’re not the ones who had to live through the damage.

So, what would you do if your wedding weekend turned into a family guilt trip because you refused to invite the one relative who made your childhood miserable?

Would you give in to make the rest of your family happy? Or would you stand your ground and protect your big day?

In the following story, one bride-to-be finds herself dealing with this drama and isn’t ready to forgive.

Here’s what’s going on.

AITA for not inviting my uncle to the “welcome lunch” before my wedding?

When I was in my teens, I went no contact with my uncle “Ted” for a variety of reasons. He was a huge instigator who loved to pick, pick, pick, and then, when you finally got annoyed and snapped, he’d play victim and get everyone mad.

He was the judgiest person I ever met, hiding behind religion to do so. After he went too far, insulting me and some other family members, I was done.

Keep in mind, while I didn’t want to see Ted, I never told anyone else they couldn’t.

The entire family knows she doesn’t get along with Ted, and they’re usually respectful.

I’d go to some events he attended, if it was an important thing (weddings, funerals, things of that nature), but I never invited him to anything for me.

I also made it clear that if it was a smaller, not crucial gathering, and he was there, I would not attend. This has led to a few arguments now that I am an adult.

I won’t talk about Ted, I won’t see him (again, unless it’s a big event), and I don’t want him knowing anything about me. From what everyone says, he hasn’t changed and has gotten worse as he gets older. I have no interest in having that in my life.

Some of my family says it’s not healthy and I should forgive. I’ve pointed out that he’s never apologized or changed his behavior, two things that are the only way you get forgiveness in my book. For the most part, for the past five years, my family has been pretty good about not bringing Ted up to me.

Her fiancé’s parents are hosting a welcome lunch for the family.

Now, I’m getting married. I have invited the entirety of my dad’s side of the family, with the exception of Ted. No one said anything about it.

A lot of the family is spread out now (90% of my dad’s family are older “snowbirds” or they’ve permanently moved south, while I’ve remained permanently on the Upper East Coast), so they’ll be traveling in for my wedding.

My fiancé’s parents said they’d host a welcome lunch for everyone the day before my wedding. Some local family members and friends who can’t make the wedding for various reasons are attending the lunch. It is going to be a family reunion of sorts for both my mom and dad’s sides and my fiancé’s family.

Now, her dad wants Ted to come to the lunch.

My dad recently pulled me aside and asked if we could invite Ted to the lunch. I laughed and said no. He said that this is the first time all of his family will be in one place in a number of years.

He pointed out that it could be several family members’ last time up here, and that many of them want to see Ted. I said they could see him before or after lunch, or they could see him at any other point after the wedding (most are staying the full weekend).

My dad said, “You know what I mean.”

She stood firm on the subject.

I just stood firm and told him no.

My dad got very upset and said this whole thing has gone on long enough, and I need to start acting like an adult.

I told him that if he wants to have lunch with his brother that day, he doesn’t have to come to the welcome lunch, and the same is true for any other family member who feels the same.

Unfortunately, her family isn’t letting it go this time.

My fiancé’s parents are paying for the lunch, and they said they would pay for Ted to come if I wanted, but they also respect my not wanting Ted there, as does my fiancé.

I don’t want him there.

But several family members on my dad’s side keep telling me I shouldn’t exclude Ted, as he is family, and the whole family will be there. One argument floating around is that there are so many people coming (around 80 guests), there’s no way I’ll be able to know who’s there, and I won’t even have to talk to them.

AITA?

Yikes! Seeing their side of this issue is easy, but it is her wedding day.

Let’s check out how the folks over at Reddit think she should handle this.

This person thinks her family should respect her decision.

As this person points out, she should be on high alert.

For this person, it’s about healing rather than forgetting.

That’s a good solution.

Her family needs to stop. She made it clear that she didn’t want him there, so end of story.

If you liked that post, check out this one about an employee that got revenge on HR when they refused to reimburse his travel.