When you grow up a certain way, for a long time it is easy to assume that your childhood is normal and everyone else’s is the exception.

And for the woman in this story, her mom’s eccentricities and behaviors have just been a normal part of life.

But now she has a baby of her own, and what once felt normal is now coming into question.

Read on to find out how parenthood changed her perception of her mom – leaving her to realize that things really are not okay between them.

AITA for telling my mom that I want to be talking on the phone less often while around my baby?

I’m an only child, and my mom calls me nearly every day. This would average to about 4-5 times a week recently.

Usually it starts with a checkup, but then it always follows by something going on in her life.

Most of the time it’s her own conflict with my father (which I discussed is not helpful for me, but she isn’t willing to find a therapist).

Now, we have conversations regarding my baby, which always involve her being worried about me and my husband taking care of both the baby and ourselves.

Uh-oh. Let’s see how she’s feeling about her mom’s calls.

Due to the weight of the conversations – as my mom is usually anxious or annoyed about something or someone (she denies this when I bring it up) – I have asked her to text me instead so I have time to process what she is going through.

She labels this as me not thinking about her, as she feels like she always has to be the one reaching out to me.

Perhaps so, but I am quite introverted and already do not appreciate phone calls often unless there is an emergency or needed to settle important matters.

I do try to call when I can, although this is about one to two times per week.

And these calls are getting increasingly inconvenient.

Now, during the most recent conversation I had with her, she called me while I was breastfeeding my baby, and my baby begins to fuss from being full.

My mom begins to talk about something she isn’t happy with, and so I try my best to listen while unlatching my baby, and then while playing with my baby, she begins to stare at my phone while it is face down.

This goes on for about twenty to thirty minutes, then while my mom asks how I’m doing I tell her that I’m trying to play and listen at the same time but that it’s hard, and I’d prefer to talk another time or keep the phone conversations shorter.

She then spins it to say that it’s irresponsible of me to not let my baby listen to us talk on the phone as this is a part of daily life.

Yikes! This riled the woman up for several reasons.

Currently, I have a strict no screen policy for my baby at least for the first two to three years of life, which for the most part my mom agrees with.

However, she is calling me so often, and if I don’t pick up, she calls me multiple times a day. It’s hard to simply not pick up and say I’m busy, since I’ve done that before and nothing changed.

I tell my mom again about the phone use limit I want in place, since my baby will have lots of phone exposure in the future, but she then says that I am turning into a fundamentalist parent.

I also mention wanting to focus on her fully while she shares her thoughts with me, but that it’s hard with the baby right there as I want to engage with her during her wake windows.

Read on to find out how her mom reacted to that.

Then my mom says that I’m putting her and my baby in competition with each other, which is not reasonable.

Many more sentences later, she ends the conversation by saying “Wait until your bbay treats you with the same attitude as you treat me” before hanging up on me.

Afterwards, she then proceeds to text me paragraphs regarding how a sign of a good mother is also how the mother treats her own mother.

AITA?

There is no nice way to say this: her mom is at best insecure and enmeshed, at worst a full narcissist determined to monopolize her daughter’s time.

This would be bad enough anyway, but when her daughter has a new baby of her own?

It’s totally selfish and unacceptable.

Let’s see what folks on Reddit had to say about this.

This person thought that it was important that she set boundaries with her mom, with immediate effect.

While others called out her mom’s appalling behavior.

And this person saw all the traits of a narcissist.

It’s not just the constant phone calls – it’s the guilt tripping that comes with it.

It’s likely that this woman has been trapped by her mom’s controlling behavior her whole life, but now she has a baby of her own she can see it for what it is.

She needs to set boundaries with her mom, so she can get her life back.

As for the mom? She needs therapy.

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