Have you ever had someone volunteer to do something for you but it later seems really clear that they don’t actually want to do it?

The pregnant woman in this story was in that situation when her sister-in-law offered to host a baby shower for her. With added restrictions and a Facebook rant, it seems like her sister-in-law never really wanted to host this party.

Let’s read the whole story.

AITAH for refusing to apologize to my SIL who ruined my baby shower she “hosted”?

My MIL wants my husband and me to apologize to my BIL and SIL (honestly, “Satan-in-law” is more accurate) so the holidays will be “normal.”

I don’t feel like I’m the one who should apologize, but I’d like outside opinions.

Some background: my husband and I have been married 10 years. We never had a big wedding or reception, we were traveling for work at the time and just eloped in Paris.

After years of trying, we’re finally expecting our first child.

Her brother-in-law and sister-in-law seem supportive.

My husband has one brother who’s been married for 15+ years, they chose not to have kids.

We told BIL and SIL about the pregnancy before our FB announcement.

SIL seemed excited and offered to host the baby shower at her home.

I was hesitant because she has a very strong personality, but I agreed to keep the peace.

Is the baby shower really going to happen?

Fast forward to me being 6 months pregnant.

No one has mentioned the shower. I reach out, SIL says “yeah I guess we should do invites.”

I send her the guest list and details.

She never orders them. So I end up ordering and sending my own shower invites while pregnant for the shower she’s “hosting.”

It’s great that she has friends who want to help.

Then SIL says she wants a co-host to share costs.

No problem. A close friend, “Dana,” who already wanted to host me a shower agrees to cohost. I also bring in my best friend “Rebecca” who does event planning to help.

The three of us plus my husband make an Excel sheet of tasks and email it to everyone, including SIL, so everyone knows who’s doing what.

At this point I double check she is still good with having it at her home and she states she is.

It doesn’t really seem like her SIL wants to host the shower.

Communication turns into a nightmare because SIL refuses group FB messages and Dana’s phone can’t handle big group texts.

Dana and Rebecca both reach out to SIL individually offering to help.

SIL’s only input is “I’ll serve nuts and crackers” and “we have to be out by 4 p.m.” even though she had previously said we could stay as long as needed.

What is wrong with her SIL?

Weekend of the shower, two of the three hosts have a game plan and food is purchased.

The night before, Rebecca messages SIL offering help and gets “you can come clean my house and cook me dinner.”

They had never even met before and Rebecca had just driven 5 hours to be there.

More rules and restrictions.

Day of, we’re told no parking in the yard or street, only in the driveway ok no problem.

We can’t even set up until 30 minutes before because SIL “had plans.”

When we arrive, she and an uninvited friend are putting up “no parking” signs and dancing around.

Guests start arriving while we’re still scrambling to set up.

Her SIL seems to be trying to sabotage her shower.

During the shower SIL stomps around, slams doors, plays on her phone, makes snide comments to her friend, disappears to the basement to blast metal music so loud the floor vibrates, and doesn’t speak to any guests.

The one time I try to talk to her she rolls her eyes and says “we’ll discuss this later.”

I’m pregnant, stressed, and in tears.

BIL later says SIL is “mad she wasn’t included” in planning even though she got the Excel sheet, texts, and calls from Dana and Rebecca.

They tried to rush.

At 3:30 I’m still opening gifts.

SIL starts texting my husband threatening to have everyone “arrested and towed” if we’re not out by 4 p.m.

Husband pushes back, but we still rush to finish and clean.

MIL asks for the vacuum to help, SIL says it’s “changing” and can’t be used. We obviously couldn’t get the place perfect.

They weren’t trying to leave the place a mess.

FIL even asks if he can stay to lock up while we finish, SIL says no.

Glitter from the decorations ends up near an air vent and in a pile of her dirty laundry. It was minor, but she flips out.

While we’re loading cars, she storms out screaming “who stole my chair?” It had just been moved to the laundry room.

Her SIL sounds crazy.

As soon as we leave she goes on a Facebook rant comparing the shower to a “J6 insurrection,” complaining about parking, glitter, spilled lemonade (which my husband cleaned), people moving items to make space, someone using her cookie sheet to warm up food, Rebecca’s husband being present (she called him a “piece of garbage” behind his back, he’s the godfather of our baby and an honorably discharged vet), and the chair for myself (mom 2 B) to sit in.

Other things she was mad with and stated includes; decorations brought in, us bring in folding chairs bc of her not having adequate seating for people especially the older people with disabilities because in her words “she doesn’t GAF where people are going to sit bc they can stand up”

She texted all three of us a long message calling us “POS” the next day.

I’m glad her husband stood up for her.

My husband responded to defend me since I was 7 months pregnant, which SIL then used and posted on facebook to say “my POS SIL can’t even stand up for herself.”

Now MIL is telling us to apologize to SIL and BIL so the holidays will be normal.

I feel like we bent over backward and still got humiliated.

AITAH for refusing to apologize?

The big question is why her SIL offered to host a baby shower when she clearly did not want to host a baby shower?

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.

Here’s a suggestion to let her husband handle his mom.

Here’s a question to ask the mother-in-law.

There were definitely red flags.

Here’s another suggestion of what to say.

Her sister-in-law owes her a huge apology.

If you liked that post, check out this post about a rude customer who got exactly what they wanted in their pizza.