You can’t put a time limit on grief, no matter how much someone wants you to.

So, what would you do if your niece lost the grandmother who was basically her mother and fell apart completely? Would you help her from afar? Or would you sacrifice your personal life to make sure she’s not struggling alone?

In the following story, one woman finds herself facing this exact situation and decides to help her niece. Here’s what happened.

AITA for staying with my niece after the closest thing she has to a mother died

I have a niece, Penelope (21). I call her my niece, but I genuinely don’t know if or how we’re related.

Penelope lived with her grandparents from the age of 2 months until she was 18. Once she graduated from high school, they sold their house, moved into assisted living, and bought her a nice 3-bedroom, 2-bath house near me (about an hour away).

They make sure she’s doing ok financially, and I was asked to check in on her and make sure she’s doing ok on her own. Until recently, that just meant stopping by with dinner once a week and helping her manage living alone.

Unfortunately, her grandma’s health went downhill quickly.

Her grandma was sick for 2 months, had 2 surgeries, spent a month in the hospital, and was being fed through a tube.

Over the weekend, Penelope was staying in the hospital with her grandma to give her uncles a break. Her grandpa left at 9, and her grandma was doing fine.

By around 11, she was struggling to breathe, so the nurses propped her up to help her swallow her saliva, suctioned her throat, and gave her nausea medication because nausea could impact her ability to swallow.

Then, the unthinkable happened.

Later, she asked Penelope to lower the bed so she could lie down and go to sleep. Shortly after that, she couldn’t breathe, and she was in a lot of pain, so they sat her up again, suctioned her throat, and gave her pain meds.

An hour later, she was still in severe pain, so they gave her more pain meds. Less than 45 minutes later, she stopped breathing, and they chose not to resuscitate her.

Penelope is a wreck.

Penelope was close to her grandma.

She blames herself for making the situation worse by laying her grandma down, plus, this is the closest thing she had to a mother, and they were incredibly close.

Penelope would drive down to visit her at least twice a week, and they’d talk on the phone and gossip about the aunties and the people in her facility/Penelope’s school, and work on a near-daily basis.

After her grandma ****, she didn’t sleep for nearly 3 days.

Now, her fiancé is not happy.

The only thing she could eat was glucose gels if her blood sugar was low (she’s type 1 diabetic), and even then, I had to spoon-feed it to her. She couldn’t get off the couch to take care of her dog.

I chose to stay with her until she improves enough to stay home alone. We’re already making some improvements. She’ll sleep through the night if I’m in the bed with her and we’re eating a couple of small meals a day. I found her a therapist, so she’s going to start on Tuesday and will be going twice a week.

The problem is that my fiancé is upset that I’m never home except to get more clothes. He wants me to stop coddling Penelope because she’s an adult and needs to know how to function on her own.

AITA?

Wow! What a nice thing for her to do.

Let’s check out how the readers over at Reddit think she should handle this.

That’s one way to turn it around on him.

Here’s someone who thinks he should suck it up.

For this person, her niece needs her more.

Harsh insinuation, but very true.

This is her decision, not his. If she feels like her time is best spent with Penelope, then that’s where she needs to be.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.