Imagine being raised as an only child by your mom and never even meeting your dad.

If your dad tried to reconnect when you were 20, would you be open to forming a relationship with him and his kids, your half siblings, or would you refuse?

In this story, one young man is in that exact situation, and he has no interest in getting to know his dad or his dad’s family. Yet, he’s wondering if that’s a mistake.

Let’s read the whole story.

AITA for rejecting my father’s attempt to be in my life after 20 years and for not wanting to form a relationship with his young children?

My father was never in my (20M) life.

His parents and siblings were. I grew up seeing them once a week and sometimes more if they had things on.

My mom was on good terms with them. But him?

First time I saw him was 6 months ago. He showed up at a cousins wedding that I was also attending.

The next time they saw each other, his dad wanted to make amends.

Then I saw him again two weeks ago. He approached me at my grandmother’s birthday party.

He said he was sorry for not being there and he wanted me to know that he wanted to try and prove himself to me and he wanted me to give him a chance.

I told him it was way too late and I wasn’t interested.

He asked if he could change my mind at all.

I said no.

It was way too late.

Then he tried to tell me that he’d drive over once a week if I agreed and he’d be here for me, he’d pay for stuff like he never did before. He offered to do anything.

And I told him nothing could make up for 20 years of never seeing his face. Of mom being forced to raise me alone. I said he didn’t get to change his mind after all her hard work.

He ran back to his wife looking dejected.

Then, his stepmom tried to talk to him.

His wife approached me just before I left and she asked me to consider a relationship with her and my father’s children. They have three under 8.

She said they wanted to approach me both times they saw me but they didn’t feel like I wanted them to and she said my grandparents were willing to give us a chance to get to know each other. She said it would be great if we could be in each others lives.

I told her I understood she was looking out for her kids but I’m an only child in the ways that count for me. I said I’ll be friendly with her kids if I’m speaking to them but I don’t want a deeper relationship.

She left it at that.

Then the aunts got involved.

Following on from the party I heard from my two aunts and they wanted to know why I was unwilling to work on any of this. They said they could understand my feelings toward my father, but they felt like I was throwing away a chance to have something I wanted as a kid, something I deserved.

Their bigger issue was me refusing to form a relationship with those kids.  They asked me what my reason for that was.

And I told them I don’t have a dad or a second parent. I only have mom. She only has me. Therefore I’m an only child. I said they would be more like cousins but I wasn’t going to string them along and let them think I wanted to be their brother.

He really doesn’t want to get to know the half siblings.

There’s been a lot of back and forth since with my aunts.

They do not support my decision. They said whether I like it or not I am not an only child.

And while that is biologically true, the man raising them had nothing to do with me and had no part in making me who I am. The only parent I have is my mom.

I can acknowledge I’m still related to these kids but I cannot find it in me to care enough to form a relationship. I’ll be friendly like I told their mom but ultimately I wouldn’t ever go out of my way to spend time with or get to know them.

AITA?

It has been 20 years of not having a dad. No, he doesn’t have to feel obligated to suddenly get to know his dad’s other kids after all this time.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.

He really does not need to give his dad a second chance.

This person knows why they suddenly want him to get to know his half siblings.

Here’s another vote for the dad having an ulterior motive…babysitting.

His dad’s guilt is not his problem.

“No” is a complete sentence.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.