To have a social life, you need to put effort in. Regularly. It’s not easy, but you have to do it to make friends.

If you had a relative who just moved to town and didn’t have any friends yet, would you hang out with them and help them find friends, or would you expect them to figure out how to make friends all on their own?

The person in this story was in this situation, except it wasn’t even a relative. It was her dad’s girlfriend who didn’t have any friends.

Let’s see how she handles the situation.

AITA for telling my father’s girlfriend that it’s not my fault she doesn’t have any friends?

My father (late 50s) has been with “Trudy” (early 40s) for about 6 years, but she only moved in with him a little under a year ago. Before that, she lived in a different city.

Since they started dating, Trudy has established herself as essentially a housewife.

Her life has been pathetic since then.

It was her choice (from what I gather, my father was against it) and she seems happy with it, but she’s a little extreme about it.

She doesn’t work, has no hobbies and refuses to go anywhere without my father. And he often leaves on work trips for days at a time.

When he’s in town, she joins him in whatever he’s doing. When he’s not, her daily routine consists of going to the gym and returning home to order takeout and watch TV.

Because of that, Trudy has no friends in this city. She never meets anyone, her whole family is a 6 hour drive away and only my father’s friends come to her birthday parties.

Recently, both Trudy and my father started pushing for me and my sister to hang out with Trudy or include her in whatever plans we make because she’s been spending a lot of time home alone and has been getting lonely.

It’s not an attractive request.

They’ve mostly given up on asking my sister, but still try to convince me.

I never do, both because I can’t and because I don’t like Trudy. I’m well aware that’s not her problem and I’m always polite, but I don’t want to spend time with her when I don’t have to.

I also have a baby and a job, so whatever free time I have tends to revolve around my son. Even when it doesn’t, Trudy and I don’t have the same interests.

They had very good reasons to turn down an invitation.

Last Friday, Trudy was home alone and invited me, my husband and our baby over to watch a movie with her.

We thanked her, but said no because my husband wanted to catch up on work and I didn’t want to take our son out on my own (both true).

On Saturday, we ended up inviting my best friend and her husband for a small “game night” at our place. Said friend later posted an Instagram story about it.

My father returned on Sunday morning, and we saw my family at a small get-together that day.

Trudy was quiet, which was out of character.

They pushed her over the edge.

Right before we left, she and my father pulled me aside. We had an argument, because Trudy had seen what my friend had posted.

She said she was upset I hadn’t thought of including her or taking her up on her offer to hang out when she was home alone.

My father told me I’d been inconsiderate, as she hasn’t made any friends around here yet and I know how lonely she’s been lately.

I said it’s not my fault she doesn’t have any friends, and I don’t have to include her in my plans just because she refuses to meet new people.

Trudy got offended, but my husband and I had to leave.

But that wasn’t the end of it.

Yesterday, my father texted me saying that Trudy was still upset about what I said and he thinks I owe her an apology.

He thinks that I’m “bullying” his girlfriend by refusing to hang out with her, and it was rude of me to imply that her lack of friends is her own fault.

That was not what I meant, and I don’t like being treated like Trudy’s cure for loneliness, but I do understand how what I said could be seen as rude. AITA?

Trudy may be lonely, but she needs to find other ways to make friends instead of relying on her boyfriend’s children to hang out with her.

Here is what people are saying on Reddit.

Yep.

Good plan.

Yep, it’s not worth it.

She sounds awful.

Liberating!

She needs to find her own friends.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.