Imagine growing up in a family where your parents always have an excuse ready for why they can’t attend your birthday party, graduation or other important event.

Would you still invite them to your wedding?

In this story, one woman grew up in a family like that, and she doesn’t see the point in inviting her family to anything, even her wedding.

But her therapist disagrees.

Let’s read the whole story.

AITA for not inviting any of my family to my wedding and replying that I knew they’d be too busy when questioned about why?

I (27f) am the youngest in a family of five. My siblings are 10+ years older than me.

We’re all full siblings too. I was the accidental pregnancy that happened when my parents were done having kids.

I have often questioned if because I was accidental pregnancy, they never really wanted me and therefore we’ve ended up here.

But of course nobody ever said that to my face. That’s just where my brain goes.

She feels overlooked.

There is a repeated pattern of everyone having plans or being busy when it’s my birthday or something important happens in my life.

With my siblings I understand more. We were never close and they never pretended we were or that they cared.

It’s different with my parents.

Thank goodness she had her friend and her friend’s parents to celebrate with her.

Some examples I can mention;

– I had a joint 16th birthday party with my best friend. I was 16 that Friday, she was 16 that Sunday and the party was Saturday.

My best friend’s parents paid for both of us. Even invited my whole family.

My siblings never replied which I took to mean no. My parents said they had other plans even though they never told me that before when I had asked them about the party. They never said it when I originally invited them either.

They said my siblings would come to make up for it but they told our parents they had important jobs they couldn’t get away from on a Saturday night.

They ignored her again when she turned 18.

– For my 18th birthday I invited them out to a family dinner.

My siblings said they were all working that weekend.

My dad said he was going to be in hospital after a procedure he never mentioned before and he didn’t actually have in the end and he wasn’t in the hospital, though he did go somewhere that night.

My mom said she was visiting her sister and couldn’t get away.

None of them had other dates they could say they’d be free.

It just got worse.

– My 21st was the same. Only my parents said they would come and they didn’t. They all had medical/dental stuff going on.

– My high school and college graduation were two events where everyone had “medical appointments” and could not reschedule to come.

She has tried therapy.

I started going to therapy a couple of years ago to help me navigate how I felt about everything.

My original therapist was really good but she had to leave due to illness and I struggle with my current one.

She has encouraged me to keep trying with my family and to always be open for them to return my efforts. She said it’s important to never give up on family.

Her fiancé convinced her to try inviting her family one more time.

I was reaching the end of my rope when my fiancé and I got engaged. Especially with how close I’ve become to my future-MIL.

I was talking to him about how I didn’t know if I should invite them to our engagement party or wedding and how I didn’t want to but a part of me felt like I had to because of the therapist.

He suggested I make one more attempt by inviting them to the engagement party and if none of them show up, I can say I tried over the years and even gave them one more chance but I have to move on for my own peace of mind and our future kids.

He said then we can get married knowing I had giving them more chances than most would.

They all made excuses again.

Nobody showed up to our engagement party.

Everyone had medical appointments from 8pm until late on a Friday night.

My whole family. Both parents, all four siblings and their partners and kids.

I did what my fiancé suggested and decided I was done.

She didn’t invite them to her wedding.

It felt so good, still feels so good.

But they found out invites went out and I was asked why they weren’t invited or given info on the wedding.

I told them I knew they would be too busy and didn’t want to inconvenience them by having to explain all the important stuff going on in their lives that prevented them from coming to my wedding.

There was some backlash from my text before I blocked them.

She thinks she might need a different therapist.

It felt good to be free.

But then my therapist was saying my wedding was a big thing to not invite them to and did I really want to close the door forever and be the kind of person who doesn’t value family.

For a while I have considered if I need a different therapist. My fiancé believes so from what he’s heard from me. But I don’t know if that’s just because he’s so protective of me or if the therapist is right and I’m being a jerk and she’s trying to stop me from being one.

AITA?

A wedding is a big deal, but so is graduation and a sweet 16 party. If they didn’t show up for those, I doubt they’d show up for the wedding. She could’ve invited them, but it’d be almost guaranteed they wouldn’t actually attend.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.

Here’s a vote for switching therapists.

Another person agrees that she doesn’t need to invite her parents to the wedding.

A psychologist weighs in.

Nobody thinks her therapist is giving her good advice.

Therapy isn’t always helpful.

If you liked that post, check this one about a guy who got revenge on his condo by making his own Christmas light rules.