What makes someone an authority? Apparently, it’s a steel plate armor.

In this wholesome and inspiring tale, a young man shares how using a knight costume changed how people perceived him, and how he had fun with it.

Let’s read the story and what the townsfolk are saying.

Guy in armor? Must be in charge.

So a bit of backstory. Back in 2018, when this occurred, I had saved up quite a bit of money from my job as a shift lead in the food service industry.

So what did I, a 17M do with that money?

I bought a suit of steel plate armor, helmet and all, something I had always wanted to do since I knew what a knight was.

I had bought it primarily to wear at the local Renaissance Festival, but took every opportunity to put it on that I could.

And this wasn’t some thin, ceremonial or LARP stuff, it was the real deal. 16 gauge steel, thick leather straps, over 100 pounds altogether.

It could stop a sword.

He also looked like a real knight.

At the time (And currently) I stood at 6 feet 5 inches, and weighed a grand total of 140 pounds soaking wet.

Not the most intimidating on my own, but with the armor on, I was “scary as hell”. Or so people have told me.

Anyways, onto the story.

That October, my mom signed my entire family up to volunteer at a nearby hospital’s Trunk-Or-Treat the Saturday before Halloween, a night I had off from work.

So I suited up, the rest of my family got into their Ren-Fest costumes, and off we went.

When we arrived, we reported to the event director (The REAL manager) and were assigned our duties.

My parents were to hand out candy from the back of their car and keep an eye on the kids walking through, like most of the adults.

He had a simple quest, but was devoted.

The youngest of my siblings (11F) was sent to help oversee some of the games going on inside and around the hospital, and the oldest (15F) was sent with me.

And what was my wondrous task?

Glorified traffic cone.

My job was to stand at one of the entrances to the portion of the parking lot the event was taking place in and keep cars from driving through.

Here to join the Trunk-Or-Treat?

Go around the hospital to the exit side of the lot and someone else will direct you further.

Just trying to leave the hospital?

Sorry bud, you’re going to have to turn around. No exit here.

He was the perfect lad for the job.

There was another entrance, but other volunteers took care of it, and mine was where the line of Trunk-Or-Treaters would wait while another group went through.

It did make sense to put me there, though.

If you didn’t notice the glowstick lanyard all volunteers were wearing, you’d definitely notice the hulking 6′ 5″ guy encased in reflective steel standing in your headlights.

And if you somehow didn’t, I had a much better chance of surviving getting hit.

So there I stand for 2 and a half hours, directing traffic and taking pictures with a fair few of the kids waiting in line.

His armor was fun to look at, but it would also prove to be useful.

Most were a bit scared of me, but with some encouragement from their parents and a lift of my helmet’s visor to show that I was, indeed, a person under all the metal, they became very excited to meet a ‘real knight’.

So sometime between 2 and a half and 3 hours on duty, I hear a bit of yelling coming from the other parking lot entrance.

I didn’t think much of it, because there are a lot of people around being loud, especially kids. So I keep on keeping on.

Then a moment later, just as I finish another photo op, there’s a tap on my pauldron (Shoulder armor).

I turn, and there stands one of the volunteers from the other entrance, looking a bit exasperated.

He was about to receive a new and more dangerous quest.

“Hey, man, sorry to bother you, but can you come with me for a moment? We could use you over here.”

A little bit confused, wondering if maybe someone needed a bathroom break and needed me to take over or something, I said sure, and followed him back.

As we got closer, the shouting got louder, and I started to make some of it out.

“-on’t care what the **** is going on tonight, I want to leave through here!”

“The other exit goes to (such and such) Road and the construction there is a pain in the ***! Where is your ******* manager!? I’ll make him make you let me through! This is ridiculous! Do you have any-” and blah blah blah.

The confrontation was imminent.

Now I see a car stopped at the second entrance, and a red faced man in the driver’s seat with the window down tearing into the second volunteer traffic cone.

As we approached, the guy who grabbed me ran ahead, blocking the man’s view of me as I got closer.

“Alright, man,” he said, “Here’s the manager, like you wanted.”

“About ******* time! What, is he a r***** like you two?! I swear to god, I’ll-”

At this point, the volunteer who had me follow him stepped aside, and I came forward, right next to the car’s window.

The jerkwad’s mouth dropped, and his face went a few shades lighter as I lumbered to a stop.

“What’s the problem here?” I asked, finally figuring out what was going on. I also might have made my voice a little deeper than it actually was.

Things soon would be resolved.

The man just stared at me for a couple of seconds, mouth agape.

Still not sure which was worse for him, the beast in medieval armor, or the fact he saw his own stupid face reflected in my visor.

When he finally found his voice again, he sort of pointed ahead of him and mumbled “I, uh, I- I want to leave through here because the traffic is really bad the other way because of the construction-”

I didn’t let him finish and folded my arms, which wasn’t exactly easy.

“Seriously? You do see all the kids running around, right? The big line, the cars, the games? And you still wanna drive through here, especially with that mouth of yours? If anyone is a r***** here, it’s definitely not me, or these guys.”

His opponent bent the knee.

“I- but-”

“Nope. Don’t want to hear it. Stop shouting at my buddies, turn around, and leave the way that ISN’T FULL OF KIDS, or I’ll have the hospital security come deal with you.”

I was LOVING this. I never got to talk to people like this at my actual job.

Without a word, he rolled up his window, put the car in reverse, and drove away. Once he was gone, the volunteer who grabbed me high fived his buddy, then me.

“Sorry for dragging you into this, man, but I couldn’t find the actual manager and this guy was mad and then I saw you, and I knew you would be perfect.”

I just laughed, and told him it was no trouble, that it was actually very enjoyable.

Then I took a picture with the volunteers, chatted a bit about my costume, then headed back to my post and finished out the night content with my little revenge against all the Richard Craniums in the world.

Nice story, Sir Traffic Cone Crusader.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this.

Don’t we all?

Verily.

Another reader chimes in.

Yup.

+100 Authority Aura.

Benevolent wishes.

Thou shalt not pass!

If you liked that post, check out this story about a customer who insists that their credit card works, and finds out that isn’t the case.