Different cultures can and do, often come to a clash.

How would you handle a brutal cultural difference with someone who claims to be a friend? One girl recently needed help with exactly this on Reddit. Here are the details.

AITA for apparently being a shoe dictator

So I (24F) am a pretty tidy person and care about cleanliness.

I have a lot of allergies, like dust, dust mites, cats, pollen etc.

You name it I probably have it.

That’s a tough way to live.

So I have a lot of rules, for example, that you have to take of your shoes when entering my flat.

My roomie (23F) is supportive but I thinks that’s also because she hates drama and tries to avoid it by any cost.

I know that I sometimes can become pretty controlling when it’s something regarding tidiness and it’s something I’m trying to work on.

She sounds pretty self-aware.

But this story rubbed me the wrong way.

So like I said I have a rule regarding shoes in my/our home: I even have a cute sign at the entrance and provide slippers as well as a shoe rack to be as accommodating as possible.

That’s one way to handle that situation.

One of my friends (23M) criticized the rule the first time he entered our flat.

Something along the lines of: “Wow, fancy house rule now”.

It bothered me but I stayed polite since he took off his shoes.

As he should.

But during the second gathering my friend refused and kept his shoes on.

He claimed “a real host wouldn’t police footwear”.

He then explained that it was a cultural thing.

This is where things get tricky.

Wearing the shoes he wore that day (they were special to be honest) were part of his cultural identity.

I asked him a second time.

He still refused to do it and said I shouldn’t be a party pooper and just let it be.

That’s not fair on his end either.

He than entered my roomies room and said I couldn’t say anything because this wasn’t my room and closed her door.

I just cleaned up the floor to be safe and returned to my home to keep preparing the shindig for later that day.

When the party started he entered my room still with his shoes on, even going as far as putting them on my couch when sitting down, which in my eyes was toddler behavior.

Definitely not cool behavior.

So I just imploded.

I yelled at him and told him to leave my room and the party immediately.

A lot of my friends told me that what I did was discriminatory.

Yikes, that’s rough.

That made me feel really bad.

I contacted him again.

But he still hasn’t answered.

That part is probably true.

He’s saying he needs time.

I feel like TA to be honest.

That’s an uncomfortable one for all involved. Let’s see what the Reddit verdict was.

Some people tried to balance the argument.

Others didn’t buy the friend’s perspective at all.

One person even tried to think through a solution.

Though some felt they needed more context.

And some understanding of his perspective was thrown out there.

He already had one foot out the door from the start.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.