The holidays can bring out the best and the worst in people.

And it can be especially difficult when you’re combining families, traditions, and more.

For this woman, her boyfriend’s family is not acting the way she expected for the holiday, and it’s extra important since she has kids involved.

She’s mad at her boyfriend for his reaction and now she wants to know if she took it too far.

Let’s find out.

AITA for telling bf we won’t spend the holiday together

I (38f) told my boyfriend (33m) it’s best to not spend the holiday together due to the lack of inclusion he and his family have for me and my children.

My bf and I have been together for over 2 years and we live together. I have 3 kids (oldest 14 and youngest 5) and they all have a great relationship with my bf.

I was single for over 2 years before I met my now bf and always thought to myself if I were to date again it would be best to date someone who has children so they just get it.

Makes sense!

They would get why I’m not always free, they would get why some days I’m just exhausted, they would just get it’s not just me but that I am a package deal.

My bf has been mostly understanding of this and I even tell him often, if it’s too much that I get it if he wants out. I expect no man to have to step up as a father figure if they didn’t want too (I hope that makes sense).

My bf has no kids and neither do his siblings so their family events are just the 5 of them always. Him, his twin, younger brother, mom and dad.

I however, come from a rather large family so a small family gathering isn’t what I’m used too. My bf always attends my family gatherings and he has finally gotten used to a bigger crowd.

When my bf’s family has their get togethers, my kids and I aren’t invited. This has made me feel as though he is embarrassed of me and what I come with.

I often ask when his family can finally meet my boys and he always tells me “they’re all so busy but I’ll ask them again.”

It’s been 2 years. To me this is a huge red flag, correct me if I’m wrong.

The holiday’s make things more complicated…

Thanksgiving is tomorrow and he hasn’t brought up anything about the day with his family but he knows what my family is doing since it was discussed in front of him over the weekend at my nieces birthday dinner.

So, last night I asked him what the plan was since it’s days away and I wanted to know if we were all going to go so I can bring a dish or something to his family’s since I don’t want to show up empty handed.

He said he was going to go there in the day and asked what time my family dinner started. I asked if we were all going and he stared at me.

This triggered me and told him not to worry about my family holiday (I know it was prolly petty but I was hurt).

I asked him if he’s embarrassed of us and he denied it. His family knows me, i have met them several times… but my kids haven’t met them all.

He got a little defensive and I told him my feelings. It’s awkward between us and now I’m wondering if he is the one for me…

I want someone to be proud and excited of who they are with and things like this make me feel other. I’m sad.

So Reddit, AITA for telling him not to worry about my family function this holiday? Did I overreact? I’m not trying to be petty. I am hurt though.

Let’s get Reddit’s advice!

This person has some theories about what’s going on.

Another person has some harsh truth to drop.

Most people agreed she didn’t do anything wrong.

And this commenter took it a step further.

If he can’t treat your kids like family, what’s the point?

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.