Not every career requires a college education, but some do. If your brother didn’t want his daughter to go to a university, but she really wanted to go, would you back up your brother or help your niece?

In today’s story, one woman is in this exact situation. She wants to help her niece, but she’s not sure if that’s the right thing to do.

Let’s read all the details.

WIBTA for inviting my niece to stay in my place so she can go to university?

Context I think is relevant: My brother (38) and I (36) are first-generation immigrants. Our mother fled her country overnight on foot because of war. Our father died during that.

She worked cleaning jobs, until she eventually landed a permanent cleaning position at a university. Because her shift started ~6:00, my brother and I spent a lot of time there. We’d stay with her until school started, go to school, and then often meet her back at the university after.

Because of this, my brother developed a resentment towards “university people.” I didn’t.

Here’s how things are going now…

Fast forward to today: both of us did well, even though neither of us went to university.

My brother owns a construction company. He lives outside the city, and his daughter spent a lot of time after school with our mom (who still works at the same university, but now in an administrative role in the cleaning staff).

My niece is about to finish school and wants to go to university.

This came as no surprise to me or my mom.

Her brother doesn’t want his daughter to go to university.

At a family dinner, my brother told his daughter that he doesn’t want her to go to university because it’s “a waste of time” (not money, uni is free here) and “a machine that turns healthy, hardworking kids into pretentious, lazy, worthless people.”

Understandably, my niece didn’t take this well.

She said that university is necessary for what she wants to do with her future.

My brother responded with, “I didn’t go to university, and I did well, so you can too.”

Her mom spoke up.

My mom is a very quiet, stoic person. I’ve never seen her start conflict unless absolutely necessary.

She stayed silent until there was a silence, and said: “I had to run from a country with two babies. I would never wish that on you, even though I did well in the end.”

You could literally see my brother melt after this.

He immediately started “that’s not what I meant.” But afterwards, he added that going to university would be impossible anyway because his daughter could never afford a dorm or an apartment in the university city. (HE perfectly could though, is about ~€400 for a room, but thats not my business)

She’s not sure if she should help her niece.

This was strange to my mom and I, because my niece already stays with one of us fairly often when she has late school days or early days in the city.

We’ve never been the type of family to interfere in each other’s parenting decisions. But I have an extra room in my apartment, and I would genuinely be happy to offer it to my niece so she could study and fulfil her dream of going to uni.

But I also realize that this would go against my brother’s authority as a parent.

So, WIBTA for inviting my niece to stay in my place so she can go to university?

I think her brother is being unreasonable. Sure, going to a university isn’t necessary to have a good career and life, but it is for some careers.

Let’s see what Reddit had to say.

This is a good point.

Here’s another vote for helping her niece.

Her niece could also get a job.

Everyone thinks she should help her niece.

Dads don’t always know best.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.