Imagine trying to schedule Christmas plans with your family and your spouse’s family. If you accidentally messed up and planned to visit both families on the same weekend, what would you do?

In this story, one man is in this exact situation, and he is prioritizing visiting his wife’s family since they live in a different country. However, his mom is not very understanding.

Let’s read all the details.

AITA for changing christmas family plans to see my in laws.

I am 25m and married to 24f, here is the backstory.

We live in the UK and my wife’s family made plans to have a christmas visit to edinburgh on the 20th/21st Dec this year.

My wife got confused by the dates and mistakenly thought that that was booked for the weekend of 13th/14th Dec. We therefore told my parents that we would come visit them for the holidays on the weekend of 20th/21st.

As soon as my wife realised the mistake, on the 29th Nov, I messaged my mum to change the plans and offered to come on the 13th/14th or after christmas instead.

But his mom wasn’t very understanding.

She is now very hurt and refuses to see us apart from the 20th/21st.

Sorry it’s quite complicated. My wife’s parents live aboard and they are only arriving back in the country on the 14th Dec. We have only seen them in July this year and have therefore prioritised their plans after our mistake.

We have seen my family at least 6 times across this year.

His mom seems to be having a pity party.

I feel terrible and have apologised so many times to my mum in particular.

But she doesn’t take any apologies and it feels like she continues to emotionally blackmail me. Saying things like ‘you never think about my feelings’, ‘I’ve done enough crying this week’, ‘you’ve really hurt all of us’.

I understand that it is hurtful and we are so sorry about that. But as I said we’ve offered 2 other options to see them.

She also feels that we deliberately give more time to my wife’s family over them.

Here’s some more context about his relationship with his mom…

I should also say that me and my mum have a history of conflict and arguments from when I was child and I often feel that she rarely listens to me and how I feel. Especially now that I’m an adult.

We both work full time, my wife is working up to christmas eve and I am working 3 out of 7 days between christmas and new year.

We don’t drive and it is a very expensive and long train, especially at this time of year and we live 200 miles away.

We have decided this year to have christmas day to ourselves for the first time.

So am I a jerk for changing christmas plans based on a mistake we made?

It’s too bad they made that mistake, but mistakes happen. It’s not his fault that his mom isn’t willing to be flexible and let them visit a different weekend instead.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.

Here’s a suggestion of what to tell his mom.

His mom really is being unreasonable.

It’s just a change of plans.

This person’s mom is similar.

He has done all that he can do.

His mother is really overreacting.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.