It’s easy to forget once you’ve been an adult for a decade or two, but during your teenage years, some things feel really, really important.

Your friends are the center of your life, for example, and fitting in often feels like the most important thing.

Sure, with adult perspective, this might not feel so key, but it’s important to be respectful toward teens for whom this feels like everything.

And when the girl in this story found herself going to a school dance with friends for the first time, her dream dress was important to her – especially since it was also to be her last school dance.

But when her mum got carried away in her own ideas, she delivered something very different to what the girl had in mind.

Read on to find out how this outfit caused discord between this daughter and her mother.

WIBTA if I told my mum I don’t like the outfit she made me for my school dance?

I’m a 17-year-old girl graduating this year, and I’ve been looking at dresses for my school dance, which is in late November.

I don’t usually go out much, especially to formal events where I can dress up, so I’ve been really excited about this.

I finally have a supportive friend group after years of being around people who acted like I didn’t exist.

This is also my first real school dance (not counting my Year 6 semi-formal), since homecoming and prom aren’t really a thing in Australia.

Let’s see how this girl has approached dress-shopping with her mum.

For about two months, I’ve been looking up dresses online and showing them to my mum, saying that we should look for something like that after my exams.

She would always say how nice they looked, and I’d talk about how much I loved them.

For context, at my graduation ceremony in early September, I wore a suit. (Graduation robes and caps aren’t really a thing in Australia; it’s more of a formal dress code).

I felt really cool and confident, and my mum kept telling me how good I looked in a suit all night.

But this seems to have planted some unwanted ideas in this girl’s mum’s mind.

About two weeks ago, my mum told me she had a surprise for me.

She showed me some AI-generated images of an outfit she had designed for my formal.

It was an asymmetrical suit jacket paired with a jagged, “edgy” long grey tulle skirt, kind of like a mix between a suit and a dress.

When I saw it, I honestly didn’t like it at all. It just wasn’t my style and seemed much more like something she would wear than anything like the dresses I’d shown her.

Let’s see how she reacted to her mum’s designs.

To be fair, I didn’t tell her outright that I didn’t like it, because I didn’t want to hurt her feelings.

She also told me she had already ordered the jacket as a base and the tulle online before showing me, since she wanted it to be a surprise.

She mentioned that if I didn’t like it, she could wear it to a Christmas work event instead, which I appreciated.

But it’s still clear that she made it with the intention of me wearing it, and she doesn’t want me to make a final decision until I see the altered jacket.

Uh-oh. Read on to see how this dilemma has left her feeling.

I really appreciate the effort, especially since she’s so busy, and it’s sweet that she took the time to make something for me. I never expected her to make the dresses I’d shown her because they were quite elaborate, I just wanted her opinion on whether something similar would suit me.

Still, I’m frustrated because it feels like she’s projecting her own taste onto me without recognizing that I’m my own person.

I think she saw me wearing a suit to graduation and assumed I’d want something more masculine for my formal without asking. It’s also not the first time something like this has happened.

Would I be in the wrong if I told my mum I don’t like the outfit?

WIBTA?

It’s clear that the dress for her school dance is really important to this girl – for more reasons than just the aesthetics.

If she’s finally found friends at the end of her time at school, she probably feels like she can finally be herself, so having her mum design something that doesn’t feel like her is bound to be jarring.

But it’s clear that she doesn’t want to upset her mum either – but the truth would likely hurt less than a lie, in the long run.

Let’s see what folks on Reddit had to say about this.

This person urged her to tell her mum before she does any extra work on the outfit.

While others, with similar experiences, encouraged her to stand up for her wishes.

Meanwhile, this Redditor thought that her individual style was more important than a little potential conflict now.

Honesty is all that matters here.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.