Sometimes the real strain in a marriage comes from the boundaries your partner refuses to set.

So, what would you do if your spouse kept giving money to their sibling to “chase their dreams,” but when you confronted them about it, they acted like you were the bad guy?

Would you keep pushing? Or would you give them an ultimatum and make them choose?

In the following story, one wife finds herself in this predicament and decides to give her husband a choice.

Here’s what happened.

AITAH for giving my husband a ultimatum?

My husband and I (M28, F30) met at university and have been married for 4 years.

Over the past 2 years, my husband has been sending monthly, sometimes even weekly, sums of money to his younger sister to allow her to pursue her ‘dreams.’

For context, my husband’s sister dropped out of uni 2 years ago because she felt it “wasn’t for her” and has been bouncing from one fantasy to the next in trying to find what she is passionate about and good at.

Fed up, she confronted him.

These sums of money have been increasing, and I feel uncomfortable with us giving so much money to someone, even if it is a family member.

I raised (And have been raising) the issue with him, but he can’t find it in himself to deny his sister. He’ll start to come around to my point of view, but the moment he speaks to her, he surrenders all over again.

More immediately, last weekend, I gave my husband an ultimatum that he either stop giving money to his sister, or I’d have to seriously consider our marriage.

Now, they’re at an impasse.

He did not react well and said that he wasn’t going to be selfish when we had so much money to spare.

I told him this wasn’t about the money, but about setting boundaries with his family. Unfortunately, he refused to listen and said that he wanted to help his sister achieve her dreams.

This is the first big fight we’ve had in years, but I don’t think I’m in the wrong.

AITA?

Yikes! He sounds like a very nice brother.

Let’s see what the people over at Reddit have to say about him giving away this money.

This person doesn’t think she’s wrong.

Yet another person who thinks she should set boundaries.

These are great questions.

For this person, there’s not enough info to make a decision.

She should calm down.

This is a serious ultimatum, and she had better be ready to see it through.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.