Imagine picturing your life with your husband, but then he makes a life-changing decision without you and gets mad at you when you push back. Would you agree to his decision, suggest compromises, or reject his idea entirely?

It probably depends on the idea, but the woman in this story is equally mad about what her husband wants to do and the fact that he made the decision without consulting her first.

Let’s read the whole story.

AITAH for not agreeing to my husband to live fully with his parents?

For context, so me (F28) and my husband (28M) is currently living in an extension house in my parents’ land since we’re saving up to buy a house on our own. We didn’t technically fully live with my parents as we have our own kitchen, dining room, living room, and room.

Then this year happened.

My FIL was rushed to the hospital because he suddenly collapsed.

Her husband made a big decision without checking with her first.

My in-laws are only living together as my husband’s sibling is living abroad and he moved out once we got married and have a child.

After this happened, I overheard my husband and his brother’s conversation about planning to live with his parents fully so there will be someone who can accompany them.

He made a decision without even consulting me or asking me if I am comfortable with it.

She does not want to live with her in-laws.

We have tried living with them for 7 months when I was pregnant, but my life there was horrible.

It’s too long to get into full details but main context is it feels like I am walking in eggshells and I couldn’t even grab a bite to eat even if I am hungry and bought groceries on my own since we shared the same fridge and feels like I am monitored in every actions that I do.

So after overhearing it, I didn’t react rashly and waiting for him to tell me directly so we can have a proper conversation.

Then that time came today.

This doesn’t sound so bad, but is he really telling the truth?

He asked me if it is okay if we live there “temporarily.”

Yes, asked.

So I asked him what does temporarily means.

He said until February, until his brother comes home.

Then why do they need to move?

I told him, so we didn’t have to bring everything in our house but no. He’s expecting that we’re bringing everything, like full-on moving out.

That’s where we start arguing like if it’s temporary why do we have to move everything? Isn’t our plan is to get a house on our own?

Then he said that his brother will just stay there for a month only so we will probably be back again.

She suggested a compromise.

So it’s not temporary but a lifetime decision.

I told him that and my honest take that I am not comfortable with it and he knows what I’ve been through living with them for 7 months and how he treated me. And I don’t want to go through that again.

So I suggested that we stay there for 4 days, and we will go home in our house every weekend. We don’t have to move everything.

But he’s not having it.

She suggested another compromise.

So I made a suggestion again that we look for house to rent nearby his parents’ house so he can go to their house every day to check on them.

But no, he’s not having it.

That’s where things blow up when I told him why is he asking my inputs if everything I say is negatory to him. When his mind is already fixed that we will live there.

He got mad and called me selfish that I couldn’t sacrifice for him. That I will be the blame when something happens to his parents because I didn’t agree to fully live there.

It doesn’t seem fair.

I am confused, but I am standing on my ground.

We were supposed to build a home on our own.

His brother freely chased his dreams, and now he’s expecting we will be the one catering every woes and problem?

I don’t mind actually, but living with them fully is a different one.

They’ve already made sacrafices.

We have sacrificed not moving abroad to have a better future for our child since no one will look after his parents, but as long as we are living separately, I can sacrifice that.

But now it turns out like I am the selfish one for saying no to live there fully and just stay for like 4 to 5 days a week. So aitah here?

It makes sense that she’s upset. Her husband should make this decision with her. She has suggested a couple great compromises. He needs to be willing to compromise in some way.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.

Here’s a suggestion of what to tell her husband.

Here’s another vote for letting her husband go by himself.

Another person warns her not to move.

This person sees two red flags.

He definitely should’ve asked her first.

Her husband needs to learn to compromise.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.