Healing isn’t linear, and sometimes when going through a hard time it helps to step away to find peace.

So when one woman decided to visit friends in Hawaii after months of failed IVF, her husband saw her trip as unfair rather than restorative.

Now she’s left wondering if self-care makes her selfish.

Read on for the full story.

AITA for wanting to take a 1 week vacation to Hawaii without spouse

I have 3 weeks of PTO left to use for the rest of the year, and after failed IVF, my friends invited me to visit and stay with them as a way to cope with the situation.

I’ve been dealing with things since April and finally gave up.

Emotionally, I’m not doing well.

Her husband doesn’t approve of this plan at all.

My spouse doesn’t think it’s fair since he doesn’t have time off to go, and I don’t want him to miss work and have it be unpaid.

He gets 1 week of paid PTO, and he used it as a staycation.

He’s not big on travel.

But she isn’t exactly willing to compromise on this.

If he joins me, then it would cause us to get a hotel, probably a rental car, and increase our expenses.

I want to go as cheap as possible.

AITA?

Fair or not, no one can pour from an empty cup.

What did Reddit think?

Her husband really doesn’t even have a good reason for naysaying.

This commenter doesn’t feel comfortable putting anyone at fault.

Can you really blame him for wanting to go to Hawaii with his wife?

On the other hand, this Redditor thinks travel without your spouse is important sometimes.

Healing rarely fits neatly into shared schedules.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.