Imagine custom ordering a dress from a designer. Would you be upset if you found out the designer had let someone else wear it before shipping it to you, or would you not have a problem with this?

The woman in this story is in this situation, and she’s not sure if she’s right to be upset about this or if designer didn’t do anything wrong.

Let’s read the whole story to decide.

AITA for not wanting to lend out my dress to stranger

I (29F) preordered a summer dress in Jan/Feb from an independent designer (20ish-F) online in another country. She accepted around 20 orders at that time and welcomed my minor alternation for the design.

I paid in full upfront.

It was expected to be done around August as mine had more deviation from the original. So in my head, it is more of custom design.

It wasn’t ready in August.

I asked for update in August and she said it will be ready in 2 weeks (ie around September).

I had no issue with the delay since I knew it was handmade slowly.

Afterwards I saw her posted my dress in sept. (I can recognise from the colour and the design) but no update on shipment.

I thought maybe it wasn’t ready.

She still doesn’t have the dress, but she knows it’s ready.

Then today 7-oct she post a video of her being interviewed and put my dress on someone else for photographing.

I emailed her about the dress and she told me it was ready but she decided for it to be featured in the interview before posting to me.

I am quite upset about the lack of consent.

She’s pretty upset that the designer had someone else wear the dress.

My thought is

1) It is her creation / design as much as it is my property. It is not some dress on the rack in H&M. I paid for it in full before it was even made.

2) I didn’t pay to dress someone else up. I paid to wear it myself. Why would I share wardrobe with strangers? If it was a friend/family I would have no problem sharing. But I do not know the interviewer (who wore the dress).

3) I do not benefit from this at all. The only thing I got is delay.

4) The lack of consent made me feel uncomfortable and disrespected as someone who supported her with actual money and actions. The risk of someone else staining / damaging the dress is small but does exist.

She’s wondering who really owns the dress.

Do you think I own the dress?

Am I a jerk who think just because I paid I owned it all? Or do I only own it after it is shipped?

Do I process the right to say no if she’d ask beforehand?

What are you thought?

I think the designer should’ve been honest with her and should’ve asked her. Even better, the designer should’ve made a second dress just like this one and used that for the interview.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.

The least she could’ve done was asked.

She has really made her wait way too long for this dress.

This person offers a suggestion of what to tell the designer.

Here’s another suggestion.

This designer sounds really unprofessional.

I’d never order something from this designer again.

If you liked that story, check out this post about a group of employees who got together and why working from home was a good financial decision.