Imagine having a usual schedule for Christmas day as far as where you open presents, where you go in the morning and where you go in the evening.

Would you be willing to modify that schedule if your mom asked you to, or would you stick to the schedule no matter what?

In this story, one woman is in this exact situation, and after thinking about it, she thinks it’s a bad idea to modify her usual holiday schedule.

Keep reading to see if you agree.

AITA for refusing to agree to my mom’s holiday request?

I spent my childhood going to multiple places on holidays. (Ex: 2 hours here, 2 hours there, basically driving around appeasing different sets of grandparents).

As I entered young adulthood, I realized how NOT ENJOYABLE that was.

When I had my own children in early 2018, husband and I decided to create our own traditions that still included our parents. All of our immediate family are local.

What we developed was an alternating system for holidays that we have found seems to work for everyone. Or so we thought.

Here’s how the alternating works…

Thanksgiving: We alternate. One year we spend it with husband’s family and my dad (who happens to be friends with husband’s fam, so it works out), next year we spend it with my mom and stepdad/mom’s side of the family. And so on.

Christmas: mornings/getting up/breakfast/opening presents, all that Christmas morning hoopla, is spent with my mom and stepdad.

Growing up, Xmas morning seemed to be the big thing in my mom’s family, and the event that seemed most important to my mom, thus we designated Xmas morning as the time spent with her and my stepdad on Xmas.

My husband’s dad enjoys cooking, so yet another reason why Xmas mornings with my mom, Xmas dinner with dad and husband’s fam, just seemed to make sense.

They went out of their way to make her mom happy.

We MADE these arrangement decisions with my mom in mind!

Husband and I are 100% agnostic, and even go to church every other Xmas eve with my mom and stepdad, just because we know it means so much to her.

This has NEVER been an issue in the past 8 years.

Yet all of a sudden, for my mother, it is.

Changing things would impact more than just them and her mom.

Not only did my mom try to get me to come over to her side’s house this year (dismissing the fact that this Thanksgiving was my husband’s family, and we spent last Thanksgiving with her), but she is wanting to change things and have us do Christmas dinner with her this year instead.

At first I was willing to entertain the idea of switching things up this year, until it occurred to me that my mom is not the only person involved here.

My dad, husband’s parents, and husband’s sister have all come to count on, and plan for, our tradition of having dinner together.

Her mom doesn’t understand how challenging the holidays can be.

My mom is emotionally immature, and sticking to my boundaries is something I struggle with in my adult life. It puts A LOT of extra stress on me to try and make it multiple places on the actual holiday with two young children, not to mention takes all the fun out of it.

My mom doesn’t see it that way.

All she sees is that we are failing to cater to her and what SHE wants, by not going multiple places and not making time to come see her.

She’s not going to humor her mom.

I can’t help but feel these new complaints, and new demands are a bit of a control thing for my mom more than anything.

I told her no, we are not willing to make a change this year and have dinner with them/do morning with husband’s family.

Having them all together is not an option. AITA for putting my foot down and saying no to my mom?

Holiday plans can really be complicated. Is she wrong for not wanting to change her usual plans, or is her mom being unreasonable?

Let’s see what Reddit has to say.

Here’s a suggestion on how to handle the situation.

Here’s another vote for not changing the holiday plans.

Here’s another way she could handle it.

Everyone is encouraging her to stand her ground.

Her mom is being selfish.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.