Imagine finding out that you have a secret cousin when you’re already middle aged. Would you be upset if your aunt, the cousin’s mom, left everything she owned to that cousin including jewelry that was passed down from your grandmother, or would you be fine with that?

In this story, one woman is in that exact situation, and she’s pretty upset. She doesn’t know if she’s right to be upset, or if she’s being selfish.

Let’s read the whole story to decide.

AITA for “hiding” assets from my aunt’s estate from my cousins?

I 40F am the only daughter in a brood. My aunt is my father’s only sibling.

It wasn’t until after my paternal grandparents had died that my aunt revealed to my father that she had gotten pregnant in college at 19 and had given the baby up for adoption.

She has been out since grad school, longer than I’ve been alive. She and her late wife never pursued having kids together.

The cousin reconnected with his mom (OP’s aunt).

Though she told my father, the whole matter was still a secret until my cousin contacted her on his 35th birthday.

He is my cousin. Period.

That said, he has his adoptive parents’ name, not my aunt’s (and mine). Through no fault of his own, he never met my grandparents.

My cousin and his son, little cousin, visit my aunt 1-2 times a year and communicate a bit on social media.

She told her aunt she needs to get her will in order.

Cousin has never once celebrated a holiday with the larger “Our last name” family. 1 wedding, 0 funerals.

My aunt as has spent some holidays with him, but only when she flew to him and stayed with his family as a guest.

My aunt told my dad that she wants to leave it all to “Cousin and Little Cousin”.

A will was only made when I pointed out that LEGALLY they are not family and inheritance will not be automatic under the law and could be problematic tax-wise without a will.

She is concerned about her grandma’s jewelry.

I do not care about any money etc my aunt may have.

I care BIG TIME about my paternal grandma’s jewelry.

Grandma’s will was generic except in the matter of her jewelry. She gave a matching set that were her favorites to me. And she left the rest specifically to my aunt “her only daughter”.

One piece she expressed a non-legally binding wish to have reset to match my set after my aunt’s death, implying it was to pass to me.

She didn’t leave jewelry to my brothers or my dad or even her DILs.

Here’s what she did to protect the jewelry.

When the dementia got bad, I started to put all the jewelry that my aunt wasn’t keeping with her in the memory care ward and that was explicitly my grandmother’s NOT a separate purchase by my aunt, into a safety deposit box in the same town my aunt lives in, in my name, my aunt’s name, and my brother’s name (he’s the only one who lives in town in case of emergency).

Important to note that my nuclear family does all caretaking of my aunt’s estate as well as physical help with personal care. Not my cousins.

My dad got mad.

It IS the aunt’s son.

Everything is to go to Cousin.

“He’s her son. It’s his inheritance. She was his grandmother.”

Cousin literally had two other women he referred to as grandma and calls my grandmother “your (grand)mom” not “my grandmom”.

To be fair, I would be much more open to sharing if little cousin was a girl, or even a boy who is interested in jewelry, but nope.

She’s not sure what’s right.

So, am I justified in saying that pieces owned by my older foremothers and/or my grandmother and explicitly passed down to only her women descendants should remain with women aka me?

Or is my great-grandmother and later grandmother’s wedding ring solely my aunt’s asset and it should go to who SHE wishes it go to and I’m just a selfish AH?

That’s a tough call. If OP wants the jewelry for sentimental value, and if the cousin would only want it for monetary value, I think it should go to OP.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.

This person understands her perspective, but it’s still not her jewelry.

It’s up to her aunt.

Another person calls her a thief.

Just because it has sentimental value doesn’t mean you can keep it.

If you liked that story, read this one about grandparents who set up a college fund for their grandkid because his parents won’t, but then his parents want to use the money to cover sibling’s medical expenses.