Most people assume tipping is for employees, not business owners, so it’s easy to feel blindsided when those expectations shift.

That’s why one client was caught off guard when their event planner refunded unused money and then subtly mentioned gratuities.

The sudden shift left the client questioning whether they’d unknowingly committed a social faux pas.

Read on for the full story!

AITAH for not tipping?

I hired an event planner to help me throw a party. They own the business and are the sole employee.

They charge by the hour and require a retainer. I paid their retainer, the planner did a good job, and the party went well.

Soon came a change in the original plan.

The planner worked fewer hours than the retainer covered, leaving money from the retainer left over.

They let me know that and asked me if I’d like them to send me back the difference via Venmo, and said they would be very happy to do so. I said thank you, yes please.

But soon the client started questioning everything.

They sent the money and wrote back asking, “In lieu of a gratuity, any positive reviews would be very appreciated.” That was the first time it even occurred to me that maybe I should have given a gratuity 😬.

As a service-based business owner myself, I never even think about whether or not I will get a gratuity. In 10 years, only one person ever has.

She didn’t think she needed to tip, but now she worries she unknowingly slighted the event planner.

I’ve always thought it’s not really appropriate to tip business owners since they’re in control of setting their own rates and pay.

AITAH for not telling the planner to keep the leftover money as a gratuity?

This situation would mess with anyone’s head.

Redditors are sure to have some strong opinions.

This commenter saw the event planner’s comment as more of an earnest request than a malicious dig.

If there ever was a good time to tip, it would probably be with this event planner.

This commenter offers up a different way to think about the interaction.

Positive reviews really do make a world of difference for small business owners.

Ultimately, this wasn’t a moral failing — just a simple misunderstanding wrapped in awkward timing.

A nice review can do more for a small business than a tip ever would, and that’s all the planner really wanted.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.