It’s a wholly unpleasant but truly inescapable part of life.

And until it’s upon us, we really don’t know what any individual bout of grief is going to do to us, how it’s going to lead to us feeling, and how we will behave.

The woman in this story knows this, and is giving her grieving cousin a lot of grace as a result.

However, she has to have boundaries, and at this point her cousin is stomping all over them.

Read on to find out what was the final straw.

WIBTA for not letting my cousin share a hotel room with my after she said rude things about our family?

I am a 28-year-old woman, with a female cousin who is 27. She lost her dad to cancer around one and a half years ago.

My cousin wants to stay in my hotel room for an upcoming family wedding.

But I don’t want her to, because she mentally drains me and has said cruel things about our family.

I wasn’t close to my uncle and kept some distance from my cousin because of her attitude and disrespect.

Let’s see how things have gone down between this cousin and the rest of the family since her father’s death.

When my uncle was sick, I took my cousin out to help get her mind off of things. I did this two or three times a month till my uncle passed, then started seeing her as much as I could (at her request) until she pushed me past my boundaries.

One day, I told her I couldn’t stay for dinner because I had a dinner with our uncle that I forgot about. She looked at me funny and said, “You know, if our uncle got cancer and died, I wouldn’t feel sad”.

I told her, “Thats a bit harsh”, and she replied, “Doesn’t mean it isn’t true.” Then she asked how our pregnant cousin was and I said fine, just normal symptoms. She responded with, “I hope she loses the baby”.

To that I said, “That’s really rude. Just because you don’t like kids doesn’t mean the rest of the world has to.”

Read on to find out how this rude cousin replied.

My cousin then said something like, “We don’t need more kids in the world. Its why Jess shouldn’t have been born.” Jess is my sister’s daughter.

I was pretty furious by this point and told her that she was crossing a line and not to speak about my family like that. She rolled her eyes then made a comment about the show we were watching. I stewed for a bit but tried to just get through the rest of our hangout.

Basically, after that I stopped initiating hangouts and she never did, so we rarely saw each other.

I didn’t usually call her out on her behavior before all of this because before I didn’t feel like it was my place, and I’m bad at confrontations. Sometimes I did ask her to explain what she meant or repeat what she said, kind of a psychological tactic.

And though things have been distant for the pair since then, she hasn’t pulled away entirely.

Since then, I texted her to let her know that she can reach out if she needs anything. And now, we have a wedding to attend at a resort and her mom isn’t going.

My cousin asked to stay with me since I’m not sharing with anyone, and her mom offered to pay for half (my cousin is unemployed). She wouldn’t be able to go if she didn’t share a room because her mom won’t pay.

I’m still very upset by her comments about our family and her general attitude towards everyone around her.

I understand that losing a parent is a different type of grief, but that doesn’t give you the right to say whatever is on your mind or to act out or just be rude to people.

But there are even more reasons not to spend time with this woman.

Most of my time with her was draining, because it would just be her venting to me about all her problems in life, all the relatives who she despises, all the friends she cut out.

I tried hard to listen, to offer advice, to just be there, but it was hard when it was just a constant negative energy around me. She never even asked about my own life.

I’m not trying to dismiss her grief or past experiences at all but I’m frustrated with how she is choosing to cope (or not cope).

WIBTA?

It really seems like this woman is trying extremely hard to be there for her cousin – but unfortunately, her cousin simply isn’t a very nice person – or she isn’t being one right now, at least.

Sure she’s grieving, and everyone will feel deeply for her as a result of this. But that’s no excuse to say cruel things about people, and wish her pain on everyone else.

Moreover, it’s even worse to double down on that when challenged.

Let’s see what folks on Reddit made of this.

This person thought a firm no was all that was needed.

While others explained that she needed to stand up to the woman.

However, this woman who had experiences of grief thought she should cut her some slack.

It really is hard losing someone who felt like an intrinsic part of your life, and it sucks what her cousin is going through.

But at the same time, this woman shouldn’t have to compromise on her own boundaries and mental health, nor should she be guilted into sharing a room with someone she doesn’t want to share with.

It’s important that she stands her ground and cares for herself above all others, even though she is clearly deeply empathetic with her cousin.

Regardless of everything, her behavior is not acceptable.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.